Are you 21? Or mature enough to take it? What follows are that many examples of the costumes and decore that were all over as Halloween was celebrated in adult style several days beforehand, last Friday and Saturday:

– I saw a woman thrusting some of the most demon-like long horns I have ever seen, like a big ram on steroids, much more than size 13, to use a shoe reference. Uhm, between “ram” and “shoe size,” you would think that was a guy — and we aren’t talking about Al Bundy.
– At a late-night shopping spree — for Halloween candy? — I saw a clerk hold up pink-animal-PJs with the front swapped for the back as far as the middle “part,” thus showing an eight-inch-long-item that looked just like a penis! We both laughed when we realized what it resembled. There was a woman, again the gender aspect here appears wrong, who was out on Saturday with a similar costume minus the “tail.” During the previous days when people were deciding what to wear, there were more costumes focusing on male anatomy, but they referred to that organ with euphemisms such as “man part,” or Large Pen Is (with an instrument a staunch bit thicker than a pencil running from a male model’s neck to, well uh …) I didn’t know that the FCC’s wording ban went as far as those seasonal Halloween stores.
– A bartender at Dick’s, befitting that name, had a super-high-riding thong and sparkly glasses, much like a Vegas showgirl. Top that off with a theme being pumped up by advertising in flyers, that being pumpkin spice lingerie (whipped cream not included). And then there was the “star” eyed makeup sported by many Moose servers, like the lead singer of KISS.
– By the gaming machines at Dick’s was a Gumby-like creature who, despite trying well into the witching hour, couldn’t get his full head to stand up.
– A beauty sported sparkles all around her eye edges, the size of a patch for that, looking legitimately like they were riveted into her cheeks.
– A priest had a tray of Tostitos on a plate, made to look like Holy Communion hosts on a paten. (See we at HudsonWiNightlife even know religious terminology). But what about the wine?
– A sharp dressed man was dancing up a storm and being overtly friendly/clingy, and because of that frenentic motion, was dangerously waving around a sickle.
– Two male sailors, (is this a cliche?), were in proximity to two other Armed Services personnel, who were not together, either in reality or for theatrics.
– A witch won a first-place prize, then found a rival with the same green skin and scepter-head at Pudge’s, which also had an actual-looking terra cotta soldier by the first pool table.
– Then we get animals involved, beyond just the humans in costume, with a seeing eye dog dressed like a skunk with a white stripe going down the back.
– It can be a demon to look like Damon on Halloween. When a foursome of people walked into Green Mill at the same time, one of them just wouldn’t let go of the idea that a counterpart looked just like Matt Damon. (I’ve reported on such resemblences before in this web page, but have never seen anything like this). “I loved you in Good Will Hunting,” the enamored one said, to which the recipient responded in a dismissive way. But the first guy kept it up. “I suppose I should take that as a compliment,” the Damon-like guy responded, hoping that would close the commentary. But the chatter still kept up for another minute or two.
– The numbers 10/6 and colors purple/green were shown on a medium-size-hat worn by a woman at The Bungalow. Could those be predictions of the regular season’s final record for the Vikings? Or less likely, I dare say, Packers?
– The skeletal costume of a woman Woody’s bartender had plenty of ribs showing, throughout the area of the rib cage, but not a lot of cloth underneath, as we’re bringing sexy back.
– You couldn’t help but notice a number of great big spider webs, the size of a small room or large closet, pinned to the ceiling corners at Woody’s.
– Two female pirate bartenders were serving drinks upstairs at Pudge’s, even boasting a matching series of colors. Yes, they said they planned their similar attire. And there was a Captain Morgan to be seen around town, as well.
– How is this for a theme involving a whole litter? There were that many women, in one gaggle of a group, out sporting kitty ears of various styles at a local haunt.
– Lots of people from Guv’s Place wandered over to The Village Inn for a drink on Friday night, then trekked back for the costume contest. They were treated to even more monsters than the usual at Guv’s, complete with new versions of their trademarks, a creepy corner filled with creatures, and all kinds of bone-based decore over the front windows.
– Friend Michelle went as Santa’s slutty sister, although she took her act far afield, but it still smacked of a ho, ho, ho motif (again, oops the wrong holiday, for a second time).
– There were a trio of glowing pumpkin figures, lit at all hours, when heading back along the Hudson to North Hudson crawl, from the costume parties.
– The night of, I heard an organist just after the end of a Catholic Mass playing really creepy music, right out of Phantom of the Opera.
– And lastly, Halloween could be ended by taking in “Late Night Bites” at Perkins. Bloody good! Just like the all-out, but all-in-fun, with a macho twist, blood lust shown by dozens and dozens of fans at local sports bars for that Ultimate Fighting cheering, and raving, that’s way over the top. No holds barred!

It was only the second week in October, and Halloween was already showing off its Oct, oops I mean act, to anyone on the downtown party scene:
– Halloween got its unofficial start in mid-month, as the Smilin’ Moose was invaded by a man in an over-the-top, top-to-bottom, multi-colored tux, and a woman who could have been his bride, decked out in a Gothic-themed wedding dress that was complete with big white boots. The next weekend before the Haunting Night, there were about a dozen more people who just couldn’t wait to dress up. One of them pretended to be a big, bad bouncer, and checked out me and my ID, saying bluntly I looked like I had restrictions that would require her to read the fine print at length before letting me in. But its OK, the real bouncers said, as she does this all the time to a wide variety of people.
– A couple of women who formed the company St. Croix Paranormal, and said that the spirits they chased didn’t always consider them welcome, was highlighted in the Hudson Star-Observer a couple of years ago. There was no contact information listed for the duo, which makes one wonder if they disappeared like so many of the beasties they pursued that were once part of this world. There would seem to be at least a ghost of a chance.
– They say that the lower level, in back, of Seasons Tavern might be haunted, but apparently apparitions can roam — maybe because a cave that heads southward. A former server there who lived just a few houses away on St. Croix Street N., said that at one point a bed appeared to move, and that there were other monstrosities of movement. Word had it that someone had died there decades earlier. That’s a long time to be stuck between both here and the netherworld.
– What’s in this year for costumes? A salesperson at one of those big Halloween stores said it was hands-down the character Pennywise. Upon a return visit, another clerk said that their best sellers had been both that creature, or Wonder Woman, or going back to referencing the former figure, “any evil clown.” Also “in” is pumpkin-themed and colored lingerie, but surprisingly out are Trump masks. Maybe way too scary.
– At one bar, on the “ladies” room door, there was a “mummy,” and at Dick’s there is a figure of a long, cool vampiress, not with a red dress, but rather purple. And two rooms away in of all places, the main dining area, there is an authentic iron maiden, which resembles with its studded and decked out metal, the knight’s outfit at one Twin Cities Halloween superstore. Dick’s always has the best monsters hanging from their ceiling, and this year my favorite is a big fat face, with floppy hat, that has thick strings like string cheese hanging from its jowls.
– The new Pudge’s upstairs pool room has now become the source of — gasp — girl talk. For five minutes nonstop, two lovely young ladies got their game on and gabbed solely about their costume plans. The only heard part I heard for sure was a reference to “boy-cut shorts.”
– The costume last year of a worker at Dick’s went over fabulously, although it didn’t look fabulous, and was definitely not politically correct. It was of a pregnant woman (artificial baby bump) wearing a houserobe and having a cig hanging from her lips. Less popular and kinda gross, a group of patrons agreed, have been the costumes depicting a woman actually giving birth.
– These are the top two picks, in my book of hauntings, of skeletal creatures around town now: A whole-length-of-body skeleton was seen positioned in a wheelchair, (and I guess he didn’t soon enough get the full medical treatment he needed), and a skull, without the body, was on display at the Village Inn inside a glass globe, (apparently the person operating this crystal ball saw something really bad). Which brings to mind the recent time at the North Hudson haunt that the old classic by Styx (a band name in itself having Halloween motif), of Crystal Ball was pulled out of the vault, (and maybe could be used to figure out just how that skull got to be, well, nothing more than a skull).
– My brother in law, a conservative Catholic, has one of those haircuts that’s not exactly a crewcut but not far short of it. It was pointed out to him, much to his chagrin, that on either side of his head where you would normally have parted hair, there recently were sprigs of hair sticking upward that resembled devil horns. Only on Halloween? Or is this recent retiree considering a new career as a heavy metal rocker?
– The other day my friend Tom and I were taking in some music, and soon there was the popular modern pop song that referenced “cocoa puffs.” I suggested that Captain Crunch, used to running his own ship, might be jealous of this additional exposure, to which Tom said, as be befits this time of year, “or Frankenberry!”
– One of those great big ‘ol beer trucks I saw at a convenience store the other day said that their product takes hopheads and grants them Asylum, which is part of the name of their brew. This time of year, having an asylum provided would only seem fitting.

Forty-six and Two makes only 48, but I wanted to go two more to come out to 50 days, (with apologies to Tool):

– A Kozy Korner sign recently noted that there are only 50 days until Christmas — Eve or Day? — (and only ten until holiday shopping starts?), but was that message updated daily, as the days until drop-dead-Xmas-shopping-deadline change as every 24 hours pass? It seems that there now is a village sign ordinance that enforces that 24-hour accuracy. (Just kidding).
– The shirts often seen at the Smilin’ Moose, “The Juice is on the Loose,” could never be more appropriate than at this time, as OJ Simpson, aka The Juice, has been released from prison. Could he come running back here, to get one of those orange-juice-based screwdrivers?
– The long hours put in to create the new Stillwater bridge require employees on such projects to unwind after the work day. Sometimes long after. When the Hudson bridge over Interstate 94 was severely in need of refurbishing, to the point that many bolts were missing from the structure and needed to be replaced, guys traveled the next half-mile to Pudge’s to get schnockered until close. Then they’d have to start their vital work again — to keep the bridge from falling down, although not London way — about three hours later, at 5 a.m. Just how long, remind me, does it take for alcohol to get out of the system? It was this macho culture that a colleague at the Hudson Star-Observer had to fight to win over the crews and get them to give her the unfettered access to photograph their sometimes intricate jobs, which she proceeded to do each week, over and over and over …
– In the bathroom at Woody’s in Bayport, there was for months a big poster and radio ad for One Republic, (it was then replaced with a similar pitch for Imagine Dragons, complete with ink mustaches, beards and piercings drawn on, and then replaced a second time with an ad for Second Wind exercise equipment). I swear, the most prominently placed “Republic” band member in the photo has the same hair bump above the bangs that I do! And that had by a young TV show host, from Adam Ruins Everything, with that one going almost ear to ear, bun hair that resembles a parakeet. By now, going back to the bands, if I could only sing something other than metal … And, it should be noted, the pitchster/owner for Second Wind is now shown sporting a hat the covers his slight baldness.
– One of those TV sports networks that are omnipresent at local sports bars said that two batters “each struck out swinging to end the game.” Were they at the plate at the same time? Or, does this give whole new meaning to the idea of switch hitting, with batters on both the left and right sides of the plate at once?
– Blue Light special in aisle one! Or should I say blue, or “Bud,” can? The 24-hour Freedom Value Center in North Hudson had for days, just a few feet from their front door, a shopping cart full of deep discounts on canned beer and things like it, just in case you needed to top off your night — as long as its before midnight. Bet it goes fast, maybe a bit faster than a similar special a few months back that featured in an equally prominent place a rack of summer dresses. A clerk confirmed the demand for the discounted liquor, saying someone came in and bought out half of what was in the cart. So, the staff has needed to replenish and replenish … And everything indeed sold well, with the possible exception of 40-ounce bottles of Olde English going for 79 cents, (until I snapped them up).
– Do you remember the hard rock group Clutch, which had Twin Cities ties that go back a couple of decades? Erik Raley, a Dick’s stalwart, and I had some conversations about their lyrics back then, but they never really did make it nationally, except in their specific genre. But now I swear they’re back, in the form of background music for Arby’s new BBQ sandwich made with Kentucky bourbon whiskey. Sounds like a good chaser after a night out.
– The bars I have been in, they open the bottle for you and bring it to you without the cap, someone said. So you can’t win the game where there might be something printed under the cap? Oh no, not in Hudson haunts.