There’s no one quite like Otis, a parttime bouncer at Dick’s, to do Halloween right, via the big screen — or maybe its a smaller one at home. As Halloween neared and Friday The Thirteenth came and passed, he had some rare off time from his day job, and come nightfall went on his annual 14-hour-straight horror flick binge. The focus was, you guessed it, the Friday the Thirteenth movies, of which he guessed there must be, bye gosh, at least 14. But the one thing that truly scares him? Anything with the Catholic Church and exorcisms. Otis said he grew up Catholic, attending the very conservative St. Agnes parish in the Twin Cities, and there has just something creepy about that place. That is not the only time I’ve heard this.
I bought a chain saw, very cheap, not as a Halloween prop but to cut some wood out in the Back Forty. OK, I barely own an acre much less 40, and maybe I was being penalized for being such a cheapskate, but I blew out not one but two tires and had to walk the last half-mile home, past Season’s Tavern, which is said to be haunted, and all the while carrying the chain saw. At least one of my neighbors, who are familiar with my Halloween night displays that include moving props, told me that all I needed was, well, a leather face to go as Leatherface.
Likewise, later that day as the sun was setting, I saw a guy walking through same area carrying shovels (plural). Could he dig a grave for me with them? After hours in the yard, I mowed lawn and the result of the too-long grass spraying was what resembled a crop circle; I think I gotta lay off the sauce.
That evening at Pudge’s, I spotted a Gothic girl, who looks like a musician for Bad Kitty, which played that venue on Friday night. She had, you guessed it again, deep purple nails.
Even later that night, at Wal-Mart buying Halloween candy, I noticed a police line draped across the booth that was part of the cashier’s station and warned “beware,” do not enter. So how do I pay for my goods? I feared that if I didn’t, I might get caught up in the webs between the checkout aisles and the door.
One more late night bite, at a convenience store. It was the “beware” sign on the bathroom door (was it a bit too smelly if you go inside?) Also, they made note that ladies using their store are BOOtiful; and the guys are BOOtilicious. And at Shiners in Lakeland, they had earlier in the month held a self-described volleyBOO tournament of terror.