Oil increases now upsetting you, in this wanton war with Iran? Trump just calls it “a little glitch.” Would $4 a gallon be so? Five dollars would be gargantuan. Except in California. Or maybe Texas, with a tank the size of one of their bigger cowboy hats.
What will $90 get you with today’s prices? A barrel of crude oil or better yet, one of candied maple syrup, I’ll bet? You betcha.* From right here in Wisconsin, which is unlikely to be bombed back by Iran, being in the middle of the country, (see below). So syrup keeps flowing in this state that because of the difference in cold winter (a bit) and hot summer (a lot) in this period, is seeing some of the highest production rates ever of syrup from our millions of maple trees. For once global warming is sweet. Also in most places to the overseas, and even same continent, as well, although you never know potentially/hypothetically what tariffs could do to costs gained or incurred or paid. As right back at ya, on Oh Canada’s imports too. So Candy O. Sugary syrup. Or syrupy sugar?
(*Actual price may vary and range widely; you know, volatility of the stock market, again. Downer of “Dow”-er. Light versions are up to $5 more. Oh wait, that’s less. Oil pan and pancakes extra.)
Maybe more likely to fall, (to evil forces, here or abroad), is Trump himself.
Way back, now year’s back, there was what was called “the first assassination attempt,” by a journalist. Implying there would be more coming.
This time it was Iran, Stan, with my apologies to Paul Simon for being glib. It had been domestic, Brad, Ben, Tom and Mick. OK that would be five. Am I ahead of myself? Or will I someday be guilty of having fallen behind.
Russia won’t join the ranks. It has vested interest for keeping Trump alive, so they can play him.
But you can’t shoot Barron. He won’t be in the armed forces anytime soon. He has an exemption for extra inches. Oh, that would be in height. He is 6-foot-7, and that’s too tall for many soldierly tasks. Especially if one is an extra inch. But surely there is something he can do?
They apparently thought his dad couldn’t, as he was sidelined too, for bone spurs. Oddly, despite the medical and army trouble, he never had surgery for them. Maybe Barron could donate an inch or two to fix the spurs of his father — albiet the danger of creating a Frankenstein’s monster more scary than a combo Trump and Vance — and shrink him at the same time. That on-grandad’s-dime doctor who gave Trump the exemption slip could give them such a referral, too, but wait, you forgot his name. Somewhere in Manhattan? But no organ donation.
The reason cited for not putting a 6-foot-7 man on the front lines is that they have to crouch in small spaces, and the taller you are the more inches you have to fit in. OK. But isn’t it literally being put into this kind of box a form of torture that we as a country subject both soldiers and civilians to if they are our enemies. So since this is seen as an acceptable practice, boo hoo Barron.
I will however, to draw another comparison, refer to the Biblical imperitive to bow out for anyone who does not feel they are mentally or physically able to conduct warfare and be relied upon by your fellow soldiers. But are other basketball-player-height people allowed to be exempt? Is any 19-year-old truly ready? But basically Barron, as Styx sings, “You’re not a child anymore.”
Where is it I want to be when the now inevitable nukes hit? On a chair-size harbor marker, but way off into the sea I’ll sit, just me and my cell phone to check what The Donald has done next. And who he has bombed. On my little island of sand? Far from any metro area and Moscow and let’s see if a drone can hit my one square meter. Hard and not high target. In a place that’s gotta be mid-Pacific. Where there are the pacifists. When the nuclear winter ends, can a prime golfer come fly me back home — on his private jet as air travel has been cut back to basically only the most needed — when not on the LIV tour. Just don’t take me to China, where the golfers rescued go. Saudi Arabia maybe.
Where else, if you still can travel and choose? If you had to embark for Chicago like my buddy at the ungodly time of 6:30 a.m. Monday? Didn’t the business forces that be know about that consideration Friday afternoon? Climbing onboard to go early to the weekend cabin? Hey, do not depart to Dubia. It’s like the last plane, train or automobile to Clarksville. Instead, go to Greenland and Iceland, and likely wanna be there before annexation. These countries are on a list of the 12 least likely to be bombed out by an atomic one, and also ranked in The Big 12 is a place of 11,000 people between Hawaii and the mainland portion of not the often referenced China, but the United States. This island nation has few people and even fewer minerals, so nobody wants them, least of all Trump. Not worth expending that other mineral, plutonium. Or is it now uranium.
While we’re at it, should we just declare the GOP a terrorist organization? Was that the question that truly wrankled Trump? Or was it can bees make honey or maple syrup in the rain? Or can the Grand Old Party protect us from getting bombed out if anywhere between Cylon in the heart of Wisconsin and Siberia in the heart of the Soviet Union, going laterally either direction?