All things are green again, (this year?), despite the virus that surrounds us, but you don’t have to go overboard as a bit might do just fine. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Or a bunch of blarney? Bushwacked by all this verbage? Please read down. Way On Down.
It can all be part of the act, as in portraying an Irish wake!
Ask Dan at Kwik Trip, who recently finished a gig with his side hustle as an actor, as in The Phipps. He said the best thing about this was its ad lib nature, much like expousing the benefits of pumping in gas at one of the 20-or-so distribution stations on the north end that he spouts like a tea kettle (that’s not nice of me), and in the wake of that fans his glib fun by teasing me about forgetting my rewards card. This act has been gone on between us since the previous St. Patrick’s Day when he first advised me I was missing on out a whole bunch — more than dozens — of say, green braised apples, over the course of roughly 365 days, as being open 24 hours gives a lot of opportunity for serial Kwik Day and Night Trippers like me. The Little Green Men, the L-word is too hard to spell, come in spades full of blarney, as Dan says with my approval, or was this my idea, that it was first one of them who stole my rewards card, then was investigated for fraudulent trading when purveying potatoes for seed over the Minnesota state line, then finally was cleared by the long investigative arm of the Small In Stature Irish Ombudsman Association. The fine, of course, would have been a pot of gold.
That’s just a bad as my wife insisting that one of her people, positioned post mortem in a hearse, fell out the back at the top of a hill and when hitting the bottom said to the chemist, have you something to stop me coughin? Alas, this Kwik Trip does not have pharmacy.
But one would need a priest for such last rites, or even a bishop. To my wife’s jokes about the whole family of bishops? You gotta problem with that? To go with the flow of this joke, that was the surname of this family, or if it had involved a real bishop, it would have required a dispensation from a real bishop for, you know …
<<News break: For a long-list retrospective of how the virus gained a foothold and gave us our marching orders, and on occasion even our walking papers, check out the lead article in a few days.>>
With this being Lent, and fish lovers know what that means, one of the many kinds of sauce you can make with forgotten stuff in the back of your own fridge — and here goes Joe again — is your own tartar. These things always start with a base of mayo, and not the clinic although this stuff that follows is indeed comfort food in place of meds, ready made to put your bid in, as Judas Priest might sing, in repeated references. Mix in some pickle relish, or if you don’t have that, substitute finely chopped pickles themselves, and I would recommend the bread and butter kind. Put in a dash of sugar, a bit of vinegar, a smattering of green bell pepper — all optional if you don’t have it, but look in that back crisper first — and done to your taste. If you’re bold even top it off with just a bit of hot pepper, again the green kind being this is St. Patrick’s Day, and a touch of horseradish as that can be great with the cream sauce but even better with the veggie itself. You don’t need much and I wonder aloud if it is leftover In The Jar-O, as it keeps well and might hold to the next time you have fish, and don’t wait until Lent 2022, God Forbid.
Tuna steak is great, also, and has great health benefits that are even moreso than the stuff in the can, and dress it up with a Bit O’ Lime juice and/or the fruit itself. And we’re all on a budget these days, even if that day is the one of St. Patrick, so you might head to your grocer or even discount store and get some salmon in a thick, Metallica bag and dress it up also, as was mentioned above, and maybe even a touch of the canned tuna around the edges of your dish to round it out.
<<Back to the blarney>>
Its true, the Royals use them too. The Queen needed a dispensation, even though a Brit, when she overdrew her one million credit line from her “Capital” card by more than 10,000 pounds. It could have been even worse in U.S. dollars. Ask Donald Trump.
The last of the dispensations came when a crew of Little Green Men from Mars stole the last of the subterranian Holy Water from below, as there wan’t much left there to start with.The pimp for they and their entourage was the guy with the blazing red eyes from the Blondie video. He looks just like the guy who waited on me at the Men’s Warehouse, who also looked much the same as Snoop Dogg in the poster at Dick’s hawking his brand of liquor, soon to be available there, the name of which was a play on the idea of it all being doggone gone. Last year at Dick’s, around this time, the bar and grill offered multiple tasty toppings and glaze on its version of what could have been just routine fish fillets.
An online ad for Paddy Ryans showed several little people, as well as in prominent placement two curly and curvy redheads also in flashy green, with little cloth on the top or bottom of their dresses.