When hawking beer and whiskey, is it all really just a bump in the road?

— A Hudson man was among those featured in the annual “how much do you make” lead story in the Parade magazine that accompanies Sunday metro newspapers. Rick Mayer, 60, who it said works as a draft (or would that be craft) beer quality specialist, makes over $53,000 a year. Now that’s the job to have.
— A few months after their removal, the two speed bumps are back in the primary route that leads from the Citizens State Bank parking lot to the Buffalo Wild Wings lot.
They are in the B-Dubs signature colors, yellow and black, no less. But in recent days, and nights, the stop sign onto the main road has been bent over, apparently bumped into by a (possibly tipsy?) driver. That stop sign a few days later was bent back the other direction, and a few days later had been removed all-together. Two days later still, it was back in position, totally upright, “Stop” the madness!
— At the risk of beating a dead (or should I say red) horse, there is more news on the sign the size of a pie plate in the men’s bathroom at the Smilin’ Moose, specifically the one featuring the two Irish lasses going by the name of 2 Gingers and hawking whiskey. Over the last few months, their faces have been doctored many times with something like a mustache or braces. But for a bit now in place of those red-haired women, there is a sign for Redd’s apple ale. Apparently someone saw red over that low-key, although somewhat entertaining, vandalism.
— On Earth Day, a deejay at KQRS said he was observing the holiday by playing 100 percent “recycled music.” I’m sorry, but that’s just “garbage,” even though the plants and trees have greened out with summer here! A woman then called in, and chimed in, that she specializes in “recycling boys.”
— Traffic from Hudson to Guv’s Place in Houlton, and continuing across the river to Stillwater nightspots, for a while now has faced the same one-lane-road weaving around because of bridge construction as was earlier experienced on the Minnesota side for months. The colored barrels are out in force on Wisconsin Hwy. 35 for a full quarter-mile, meaning as Sammy Hagar so famously sang, “I can’t drive 55.” More like 25 mph.
— With the whole Tom Brady suspension over Deflategate that’s been playing out in sports bars, it makes me wonder if I should take that old volleyball in my garage — you know, the one everybody has that’s lacking air — and throw it in the St. Croix River. That way, I could get rid of it before the summer outdoor season and avoid accusations. Speaking of that, it also appears that those footballs ended up looking much like floppy rib eye steaks ready for grilling, whether in the BBQ cooker, or in the press.
— Recently on band night at the Smilin’ Moose, there was Elvis in all his glory, which in this case meant a bright red silk suit, of all things, rather than a white jumpsuit. That wardrobe choice was only topped by the servers wearing cowboy boots, which is fitting because the band playing there was again the frequent act Hitchville, and all-out country. (On the video screen the other night, there was a band member decked out in a pink three-piece suit, just a bit more pale then that paraded by the patron). And, in the Baldwin June Bug Days held recently, there was yet another Elvis impersonator, this time in an official capacity.
— A guy who looks just like the drummer for AC/DC has been the deejay at the Smilin’ Moose on a recurring basis. Is that the heavy metal drummer who has had the major legal troubles of late involving an alleged murder for hire — shall I invoke the term “death metal?” A Twin Cities radio jock recently announced the latest court news, and noted that this guy with the drumsticks just might be ethically following the “Highway to Hell.” I guess will have to wait until his sentencing, which should happen soon, to find out.
— On a recent weekend, it was more than hightime to lay claim to your own personal ladle drink at the Smilin’ Moose, as servers brought these oversize bowls-on-a-handle back and forth to birthday lushes at a greater than usual pace. Several stashes of these big dippers, which feature one of four multi-shot concoctions all with a Moose theme, hang from hooks above the bar, but one server said it was so high volume they even “ran out.”

The consistency for when people were out for Cinco, and in Somerset, wasn’t completely in sync, and likewise the Wild and sightings of their “coach” — yup that’s a Yeo — were streaky.
— Participation in Cinco De Mayo was streaky throughout town, with some places having a few more people in than usual, but not all night. It looks like that notice on local juke boxes about playing “Cinco De Mayo songs” went largely unheeded. It should be noted that at Dick’s Bar and Grill, there still was an advertising sign for Dos Equis beer up on Wednesday night; some of the monthly beer specials you’ll find in Hudson, at this point in the year largely featuring Mexican brews, will go on for the rest of May.
Customer traffic on the weekend of Mother’s Day also was mostly light, in part because of the Minnesota fishing opener, but mostly due to the Northern Invasion metal mega-concert in Somerset. However, around midnight on Saturday, the crowd at the Smilin’ Moose picked up considerably, as the concert patrons worked their way south to go back to Minnesota, where many of the Moose faithful come from. The increase in customers was not universal, however, along the route to Interstate 94. Wonder if they went back the next morning for mom’s day Bloody Mary’s, (the other main competition for such fare is Dick’s, which is quite a bit cheaper). And you could wash it down with a make-your-own omelette bar at Seasons Tavern in North Hudson. More over the top, back when hockey and the Big Fight were king for spectating, was a sign at Buffalo Wild Wings advertising the Great Large Order Takeout Menu, also known as GLOTM.
— Now that the Minnesota Wild have had some playoff success, it’s time to note that a man who is a dead ringer for Coach Mike Yeo has been seen at Dick’s Bar and Grill. (He was wearing a Frozen Four T-shirt, which is college rather than pro hockey). Yet another guy who fit the bill, but was a bit older, was there after the Wild celebrated their big Game Three win over St. Louis in the opening round.
Consider this next bit a tale of Three Wild Women. During playoff time, bartender Michele found herself coming in early to get her shift done so she could go Get Wild, but also needed to switch and have a fill-in for part of the night so she’d get to the Xcel Energy Center before the puck dropped. Likewise, Bobbie at Green Mill has been told she’s a good luck charm, as goals have come frequently for the Wild when she was on duty. An exception appeared to be the elimination game, when that possibility was pointed out to her, but at that juncture the luck started coming back when the local skaters put on a flurry of activity. Lastly among the hot hockey hostesses, bartender Shavon was wearing not Wild colors but something that was more like a leftover from St. Patrick’s Day, that being lime green, but did not have the same good luck factor as her coworker Bobbie. That made Shavon rethink wearing that color next year come the hockey playoffs. At least she wasn’t sporting blue, as that would back the opposing St. Louis Blues, who in the long run ended singing the blues thanks to the Wild.
— A liquor store in western Wisconsin had its annual “tax evasion” week where it picked up the state sales tax for customers. That’s perhaps the most refreshing beverage offer, to spite the Taxman, since the Boston Tea Party. Then that night, Buffalo Wild Wings listed its top players and one went by the moniker, you guessed it, “Taxman.” Except, that playing date was on the 14th, not the 15th.
— Stonetap was closed for at least part of last weekend, from what a sign said were issues “with the city water main.” In fact, what looked like tinted water could be seen around the two big flower pots on the sidewalk. Oh wait, those were just shadows.

Forget pointed ears, there are points on Kirk’s nose, and points to be made about what’s in the little First Officer’s room:

— OK, this is enough to make you want to put your phasers on stun. A scratch, we assume, on the longtime pinball machine at Dick’s Bar and Grill, if you look closely enough, makes it appear that Captain Kirk — not the William Shatner version, God forbid — has a nose piercing. The likeness of the late Mr. Spock has none; wouldn’t be logical. The machine that is a recent replacement features the Walking Dead, another theme with altered facial features.
If that wasn’t enough, one of the Two Gingers in a flyer in the men’s bathroom at the Smilin’ Moose also appears to have such a piercing etched in by a patron (and the other Ginger has been given braces).
There is Green and Gold tiling, fittingly, in the men’s room at the Village Inn in North Hudson, and we assume in the lady’s room as well, although we do not know that firsthand. Just as the women didn’t know until now what is to be seen in the men’s version.
Also, the Dick’s mens restroom appears to have gone old school. The toilet paper dispenser is closed by a metal piece that resembles a buckle you’d see on an old suitcase. And an antique-looking, plated metal towel dispenser had for a while been set up on the wall, and an electrical cord that ran it allowed a roar that has caused at least one patron to jump back in surprise. Maybe that’s what caused the guy to leave his Jagermeister hat lying alone on the floor of the men’s can.
But back to the Smilin’ Moose, they and Green Mill and Buffalo Wild Wings, especially, get kudos for being a bar and grill and still being family friendly enough to have diaper changing apparatus in the restrooms. And, in the men’s bathroom at the Smilin’ Moose there is the draw, such as it is, of having a reflective plastic sheet on one wall of the john, which means you can see your feet reflected while doing your business.
Two other notes of bathroom humor: Pennies have been seen near the bottom of a couple of local urinals, balancing precariously on a thin metal bar between the porcelain but not dropping completely to the bottom of the drain, which means they’re not exactly pennies that fell from heaven; and on one of the ad sites above a urinal, someone defaced the logo and said that this Twin Cities contractor did, shall we say, shoddy work. That caused another patron to write a note saying that heading his list of least favorite things are whiners who write graffiti and, of course, those who compulsively make lists. Do as I say, not as I do.
— A sign on the marquee of the Hudson House Grand Hotel welcomed who we just have to assume are the ultimate convention-going partiers, members of the state Holstein association. There is no truth to the rumor that when the “entertainers” did not show up because of the extreme cold, there was utter dismay.
— Sometimes, a server has to “step up,” as in get a bottle of vintage stuff that’s stacked up nearly as high as the ceiling. So I joked with bartender Bobbie, why not hire newly acquired Timberwolf Kevin Garnett, who stands 7-foot-1, to assist with such “top shelf” stuff? She thought that was a good idea. Moreso than when she and another bartender both told me that I snuck in so quietly that they didn’t know I was there. To which I replied, I could have ventured in less like a little mouse and more like one of those gnarly, 30-pound African rodents.
— A regular patron downtown apparently was perplexed by what to do, or not to do, on the evening of a recent holiday, that being Ash Wednesday. He said he was not that familiar with Catholicism, and wasn’t sure if he should mention that ashen cross on her forehead, or if it was something he should try to wipe off, or just let the matter drop entirely. If it had been a day earlier, traditionally Fat Tuesday, the social rules as they involve beads would have been more cut and dried, even though again virtually no one locally participated in that facet.
— Two people who did participate, but in a different kind of ritual, were a boy-and-girl couple who took in a Jeff Loven rock show when it was their birthdays. Yes plural, as both were born on the same date and for the second straight year celebrated, in part, with the one-man-band.
— Also celebrating were hoards of people on Valentine’s Day, which it happens was on a Saturday. A couple or two who work at Dick’s were dressed up like the Roarin’ 20s while at the Smilin’ Moose, which means they have been together for how long? And on a nearby street curb was seen a sprig of mistletoe, although it was stuffed down on a bed of ice that would make kissing unworkable. Better to try the sprig draped over a moose’s antlers when you enter the lower level of Season’s Tavern.
— When the Dweebs took the stage at that V-Day place, the Smilin’ Moose the other weekend, they let loose a string of dozens of rolls of toilet paper. But in recent concerts there, which were even prior to the flooding of free-flowing paper, a couple of patrons could be seen with the TP on their shoes as they left the bathroom. Now, who’s the dweeb?
— Not anyone who stands really, really tall. At that performance, there were two stunning women together who were more than six-feet tall and wore high heels to boot. Where’s the late Ronnie James Dio, that lover of blondes over 72 inches who had played Ozzfest locally, when you need him?
— Yes, she’s shorter, but we still love her. American Idolist Kat Perkins has been giving shows to the Armed Forces overseas, which makes some local fans who’ve seen her play here wonder when we in Hudson will again be on par with Iraq or Afghanistan?

Give me liberty, with a spiked mullet, or give me V-Day:
— Someone dressed as a gowned Lady Liberty was seen walking back and forth around the streets downtown, with a sash that said simply, “Liberty Tax.” He was a man who didn’t really look old enough to be paying taxes, and the tines attached to his head kind of looked like a spiked mullet. (Except they were sideways).
— Another popular historical character, a human-size wooden Nutcracker soldier, had been set up next to the slot machines at Pudge’s since Christmas, and jokingly equipped with a Mich Golden Light propped in his hand. Better that than walnuts and filberts.
— Since the recent nights have been frigid, and hopefully people won’t be on Valentine’s Day, it’s a good time to mention that the eighth annual Roots and Bluegrass Festival in River Falls that’s coming up April 10-12 has all of its scores of bands indoors. The twelve different venues will essentially crank up the heat, compared to outside, if not necessarily the volume, as much of the music is acoustic and will allow patrons of the free shows to converse as well as listen.
— The cold did, however, provide an opportunity for a local man who was stranded in New York after flights were cancelled by a blizzard. This allowed the man, who was familiar with the area, to hit some old watering holes. I hope they weren’t the ones right in the airport, unless he really had a craving for some of those airport peanuts.
— A football picks board at Dick’s Bar and Grill had all of its squares filled by participants, and a sign at the top of the cardboard contraption said “see other side to reorder.” Does that mean that if you selected the Seahawks, you get a mulligan and a second shot at winning the prize?
— Can guns and having a couple of drinks ever successfully “mix?” A friend of mine who visits from Minnesota says he found it odd bedfellows that a bar and grill in his hometown was a sponsor of a gun class at the local rifle range. A few days after he told me this, a limo swung through downtown Hudson delivering patrons to bars, and on the side of it was a placard advertising a gun range and shop. All these things may actually be pertinent and even timely, since such a business has been promoting a Valentine’s Day event where there were discounts if a woman was part of a group being taught shooting skills. The event was billed, of course, Guns ‘N Roses.
— The Sexy in the City night out at Woody’s in Bayport keeps growing and growing, as the deejay pointed out. Not long ago it had eight vendors of Valentine’s Day-friendly goods, and this year there were 11. But when the event as held on a recent Saturday, it also was somewhat kid friendly, as the show was stolen by a young boy who in the company of his mother just kept break-dancing in front of the DJ booth. It was a different story at Ellie’s on Main a few weeks earlier, when a fashion show, and Obey Clothing Company sale, with items available for purchase, had a tone that was much more edgy. It featured creations spurred by pop culture that covered all different genres, from dressy to metal. No matter what concert or other event you wanted to attend, you’d find your gear here. It was billed as: “Whatever your style, punk, retro, metal, hipster, classic, weirdos, nerds, rockers … Obey has something for you.”
— And lastly, since Valentine’s Day is indeed upon us, there is this revelation from patrons at the Smilin’ Moose that could either enhance or kill the mood. The video rolling at the moment, featuring a band playing new country, showed female marchers in a parade, as well as lots of booty. A guy pointed to the screen and said to his buddies: “That’s my boss’s wife up there!” Also at the Moose, a frequently played video is of Eminem and Snoop Dog rapping about, what else, someone’s booty that’s shown in cartoon form. The main object of their desire has her butt thrust prominently toward the camera — looking like someone in the “I like big butts and I cannot lie” video — then pulled back again. In any case, it was humorous when at one point, all the video screens in the place temporarily froze when the cartoon woman’s butt was at its closest, taking up most of the screen. Timing is everything.

Bring a dish to pass, just don’t dish out any mishaps:
— A number of local sports bars spent the biggest Packer games of the season, or playoffs, by doing things such as hosting pot luck lunches where everyone brought a dish to pass, which was often supplemented by other football-friendly, free food offerings. These have historically included a lets-all-get-along celebration of the twice-annual Viking-Packer contest at the Mallalieu Inn in North Hudson, and homemade Italian fare or hot dogs at Mudds and Sudds, also in the village. However, with no Green Bay in the Super Bowl, the rule of thumb that’s not quite universal is to play this Sunday low-key as far as food — nothing out of the ordinary. As a worker at Sidetrack Saloon in Roberts termed it, a Packer presence would have increased customer traffic several-fold, so much so that they would have gone beyond shared appetizers and brought in a catered meal.
— The Viking guy who hangs out at Guv’s Place in Houlton says that he only gets out his horned Purple Puppet on rare occasions, when he really needs a lift. I wonder what the puppet status is these days.
— As ESPN would say, there is breaking news about Deflategate, concerning the idea that Patriot footballs aren’t the only things that aren’t too pumped up. There is the revelation that Tom Brady has small hands, first reported by his supermodel wife. She should know. (Just kidding).
— Word has it that in recent times out and about, one person fell one story off a bar deck and another one yard off a bar rail, and both got banged up a bit. This brings to mind one time when surprisingly, no one was hurt when a guy who was dancing downtown to a rock band swung his partner over his head — and dropped her! So a word to the wise, have your fun but be careful out there.
— Someone who was less careful while out in the crowd during a Twin Cities gig actually ended up dead. This is reported by a local singer who was onstage fronting his band at the time, and still sounds shook up, since there apparently was some mischief going on. This is surprising, since these low-key guys — in style of music and in character — aren’t exactly mosh pit material, but it still put a chill on them getting gigs for a while.
— Even though this is the depth of winter, there still have been some well-attended events. The Kozy Korner outdoor bean bag tournament drew 36 people, and the registration for bar olympics held at this and other establishments sold out a week in advance. And to think it was less then two months ago that the Smilin’ Moose on a more balmy day had one of its patio doors open a foot to let in the fresh, but not too frosty air.

This was a New Year’s to remember for many people who braved the cold to come out, although more bundled up than usual, but none more than a bartender at Woody’s in Bayport, Mary who got married.
The next day, when one of her co-workers was asked if she had to be on duty the previous night, the response was that she took off for this special occasion. For their part, Mary and her new husband hit the town for a while after the ceremonies were done, then early the next morning got up and ran a 5K race!
Holding a wedding ceremony on New Year’s Eve is not unprecedented; another couple did so as they rang in the new year as the millennium turned more than a decade ago. They took their vows in the back room of the cafe of the former Dibbo’s, then Jerralyn and her hubby had their wedding dance to the music of that night’s rock band. Someone who remembers that far back, my friend Bill, said that he heard a theme all through New Year’s 2015, that they missed the Dibbo’s all-night band and wished that somewhere, anywhere in downtown Hudson there was live music on this night. (There was a group playing at Willow River Saloon, but technically, that’s in Burkhardt).
The dance floor at the Smilin’ Moose was so packed that you wouldn’t want to lose a contact lens, as was one man’s fate. So many people were dancing that he quickly took his search way to the other end of the tavern.
There was one tall guy on the dance floor who literally stood a head higher than anyone around him. (He didn’t need the heeled cowboy boots). At Dick’s Bar and Grill, there was a man just as tall, in a three-piece suit, who looked like a cross between Brendan Frasier and Keanu Reeves. Nearby was another dude in a suit, but with just a brown vest and without any sports coat or tie, although he did have white tennis shoes. So, he looked like David Lee Roth in an old video.
Concerning this type of footwear, one woman wore a little black dress, complete with red canvas tennis shoes. My friend Lana also wore something like that, but on the other end of her body, scores of long, knotted cloth dreadlocks flowed out from under her scarf.
One of the group of women sporting tiaras early at Dick’s was also wearing a Batman shirt with the bat logo. Superhero princess? And would Superman wear a tiara, being a guy, like one of the male patrons did there?
Another piece of persistent headgear was the tiny party top hat. One bald guy had his stuck on about three inches above his ear, with the cord running diagonally down the middle of his head. Another man, with a bit more hair, had his hat worn in exactly the same place.
Breakfast was served at the Kozy Korner in North Hudson starting at 1 a.m. It wasn’t long after that, when the big crowd at the Cajun Club began filing out. There were lots of people, but staff members said the guys were staying belly up to the bar, not the stage area, and they weren’t spending much money or tipping dancers that well — a benchmark for how long the place would stay open that night. They must have spent all their dough earlier, by taking their wives out for an expensive night on the town. (Oops, did I let the cat out of the bag on that?)
A lot of people couldn’t catch up on their sleep for long, as come 11 a.m. the next day, there were college football bowl games. People had to choose between watching the Gophers and Badgers, as the games ran almost simultaneously. At Woody’s in Bayport, virtually all the screens were on the Minnesota team, with only one on Wisconsin. Late in the games, with both teams down by about a field goal, both sets of TVs announced there was only 24 seconds left — in the fourth quarter for the Badgers and the third for the Gophers.
Meanwhile, at Buffalo Wild Wings, a sign had been posted saying to come watch the Minnesota team. (Don’t they know we’re in the Badger State, although that was aired too?) But here’s a clue why: The Gophers were competing in what was officially called the Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl.

Lots going on to get in the spirit, as the Christmas holiday cometh:
— This is not your mom and dad’s Christmas caroling. On three weeknights in December, groups of people gathered at the Village Inn in North Hudson to board a mobile home and go caroling around town — mostly in the vicinity of nightspots, not Nativities. They started early, about 6:30 p.m., and by the time bartenders started changing their shifts to serve the late-night crowd, the remaining remnant of the wine, women and song event — all three will keep you warm — was a North Hudson stalwart with a long, telltale scarf folded several times around his neck.
— A busload of ugly sweater party participants arrived at Dick’s Bar and Grill from Minneapolis shortly before the holiday, joining locals who just can’t get enough of this kind of dress, and sported it at organized parties at more than three local nightspots in mid-December. As I told one guy, ugly sweater parties are the universal language. He responded: “I’m not sure they are ugly, just annoying.” Like the guy in the gold foil pants? If you are that hard core, the place you wanted to be on the Saturday before Christmas was Woody’s in Bayport, where their ugly sweater contest featured the added amenity of a photo booth with props. This was perhaps the one time of year where you could get away with what I said to Ginger the bartender: “You look really ugly, but it a good way.” Then there’s the input of another ugly sweater veteran. The music was loud and I couldn’t quite hear what she was saying, but it had something to do with something a supermodel would wear — with the addition of dozens of thick threads woven in.
— After days, if not weeks, a signalized stoplight is back on duty at Eleventh and Crestview, after it had been apparently plowed down at night in an earlier ice storm by a driver who lost control. Fixing this one up was almost like the guardrail off an Interstate 94 exit ramp heading north into town, after drivers stop traveling westward. Last winter, that guardrail seemingly was struck at least once because the exit is sharp and steep, and again seemed to be a latenight situation. It also took a while to repair the big dents. And don’t even get me started about the frequent power outages on the hill, usually at night — so no late happy hour due to business closures — but once in the late afternoon, which meant my bank off of Hanley Street was shut down and I couldn’t deposit one of those sporadic small checks freelance writers get. Traffic had been rerouted all over the place, so I ended up being so late it probably wouldn’t have mattered anyway. So instead, might as well hit the afternoon specials at Green Mill or Buffalo Wild Wings, but wait, I don’t think they were able to be open either. I talked to a friend at BWW about all this the other evening, and she concurred, then added, we could sell our mitigation services as consultants.
— Speaking of B-Dubs, the foyer leading into the place is now equipped with sound effects, a kind of spooky roaring noise that kicks in when you open the outer door. Or is that just from a big heater? In any case, it’s fitting that accompanying this noise is a big piece of art on the wall displaying the trademark flame-imagery that looks like the wings shown on the buffalo logo. Or is this simply meant to symbolize the heat generated by the hottest of their buffalo wings?
— The silly signs at St. Croix Scuba have gotten into the spirit of the season, first by saying, “keep your friends close and your anemones closer,” then truly so with “Who delivers gifts to sharks? Santa Jaws.”

Last weekend, when you combine Thanksgiving with well-celebrated football games between the Badgers and Gophers, and Packers and Patriots, and throw in an amped up Black Friday, it was becoming more and more likely that the drag-out partying four-day span would be followed by a Blue Monday, not a Cyber Monday. (Although, for some of those games, there were full parking lots, but in a few places a few empty tables. An exception was Buffalo Wild Wings, where both the bar counter and big bar table-seating area were so full they weren’t able to seat latecomers).
— A lighted sign outside Historic Casanova Liquors over the Thanksgiving holiday thanked people for supporting their local liquor store. Does that stipulation also apply to all the people who come over here from Minnesota on Sundays? An aside about THEIR local beverage stores, there now is an app via which Twin Citians can order booze for quick delivery. Finally, the Minnesotans have bested Wisconsin. However, they did call a Hudson liquor store — and not even one just off the freeway — 500 times on Thanksgiving to see if they were open, the manager said. (Okay, not ALL those calls came from across the river, but I’m guessing about 98.6 percent). The manager said they should have changed their answering machine message to have it say they are indeed open, and just let it take all the calls. He also said that on one day recently, a Twin Cities broadcast personality came in and ordered hundreds of dollars of high quality liquor and had it loaded into the back of his van.
— Jess at Guv’s Place in Houlton used international shipping to send soccer balls to another place, on another continent, where her daughter has been serving in the military and there was a shortage of such basic equipment — and even a field that isn’t full of holes — that they could use for exercise. Enough balls were shipped to outfit the whole team.
— Also at Guv’s, and also at a place far afield, a patron said he once got an exotic dance from someone who is closely related to a longtime host of a national TV children’s show. (And no, it’s not Peewee Herman).
— Others also live on the edge. Customers at a local establishment said they’ve been told the place is considered a meeting area for cheating husbands or wives coming from the Cities. The bartender said, jokingly, that she wanted names. The patrons replied, fittingly, that they couldn’t do names but could remember some faces.
— But people, especially the bartender, at the Village Inn in North Hudson earlier in fall did remember both the blood moon, and the moon’s eclipse. Problem was that there were wideranging TV accounts — if it was not set for Sports Center — of just at which hour these events would take place. So in both cases the viewing choices ranged from pulling away from one of your busiest serving times to stand outside the door, catching the displays when you were at bar close cleanup time, or staying up until dawn and then being exhausted the rest of the day. The choices were not good, but they were well discussed.
— In watching a sports bar college football game between the Oregon Ducks and their unranked rivals, Oregon State, one of the Ducks pulled up lame and the announcer said “there is an injured Duck.” Could he have said, “wounded Duck?”
— Also seen at the sports bar over the past few months were some interesting last names. The championship pitcher named Bumgartner showed that he ain’t no bum, but I’m not so sure about the player by the unfortunate name Duda, which harkens back to a very old folk song about “walking down the quay,” not the Hudson Dike Road. Lastly, someone who just may have partied a bit much and ended up in the Hudson paper’s police report goes by Moe Oo. That’s right. A few too many vowels.
— According to a flyer at Guv’s, a dog named Rocky who is friendly to other dogs and people — apparently especially so to those in hard hats — has been missing for weeks, last seen in the vicinity of the new Stillwater bridge construction a couple of miles to the south. His has obviously been a rocky road, pardon the pun, as cold weather he faced has also made it cumbersome to do some types of construction work on a new interchange. Bartenders at Guv’s hope that the frigid weather brings some of those workers their way, as happened at least once during the summer when a downpour chased them from the construction site.
— This late night shopping excerpt from my file of being called the Frugal German. After visiting some of the haunts on The Hill, I decided to use one of those great Kwik Trip coupons for a free pound of potatoes (which only cost 38 cents a pound everyday anyway, a shameless plug for one of my favorite inexpensive places to shop), and make some late night munchie fries. I decided to buy only one great big potato, and in a best case scenario push the overall price to 39 cents. However, the clerk said the potato was too green, so I should substitute. When this smaller one got weighed and rang up as only 21 cents, I wondered aloud, if for only a moment, if I should void the transaction and get a second potato. The look on the clerk’s face made the Frugal German recoil and think twice about one potato, two.
It’s like guitarist Geno, formerly of Saving Starz used to say, 50 Cent is a band not a tip. I don’t know if he was speaking directly to me, and maybe I was being a bit paranoid, but one night a hospitality industry worker who was at late night happy hour got on my case about this practice and said I should write an op-ed piece about the injustice of it. I told him that the markets for such articles have dried up down to nothing, and I would have to to do such a thing gratis, which he thought was just fine. Now wait a minute, for me to work for free is fine, but you are the one advocating not just for not leaving a tip, but that tip isn’t big enough? Hmm.
— Showing some killer dance moves at the Smilin’ Moose was someone who looked just like a young Nicole Kidman. On this, a yet another very frigid day, her Irish-styled bright green top went well with her flaming red hair and showed a bit of bare midriff; we give her kudos for bravery to face the cold that way.
— Lastly from the resemblance file, I have to again reference my bartender friend Whitney, who had a look-alike with a prominent role on the TV show The Mentalist. Wouldn’t you know it, that actress also played a bartender, who unlike Whitney was making some extra money running guns. I guess there might be something to this whole idea that sometimes tips just don’t cover the rent.

From The Body to The Arnold, and we’ve got a Hunch there’s more …
— A regular patron at Dick’s Bar and Grill was a high school classmate of wrestler, governor and litigant Jesse Ventura, although we presume more attentive to his studies, (a member of the debate team and near the top of his class, rather than a consumate jock). Meanwhile, a few stools down and not to be outdone, a former sniper was describing in great detail the science of shooting, such as the fact that a bullet’s course can be changed slightly by things such as the gravitational pull between two mountains and the subsequent drop in air pressure between them. His language was technical enough that eyes glazed over. Can’t we just hear something out of an action movie, such as descriptions of Navy SEALS doing their thing? If Jesse is listening, be careful what you say.
— If that weren’t enough, a Village Inn patron revealed that a buddy of his knows a weightlifting friend of Arnold Schwarzenegger, and had scored an invitation to The Arnold’s wedding. But not everyone can be on a first-name basis with this non-girlie-man. One of the Minnesota Vikings, Fred Evans, was joking with the media about how he got his rock-hard body, referencing imagined workouts with Hercules and Sylvester Stallone, (OK, if you’re a Viking, we almost expect you to be a bit dillusional). But what, no workouts with Schwarzenegger? “He was unavailable,” Evans said.
— At the Village Inn and also the Smilin’ Moose, a pair of bartenders both used the same words, that they got their “butts kicked” on a recent Saturday with customer overflow from the Euro-car show and a Packer preseason game. In the latter case at The Village, they were the only ones with a monopoly on the game telecast.
— As preseason unfolded, a man fan at Dick’s got a special offer in response to his Goldilocks braid, Viking hat and horns get-up. A woman said to him, “I could braid you for real.” He responded, “Don’t you do that to my hair. Just do it to your own.”
— An X marks the spot, in the case of the names of the ex-king and court of North Hudson Pepper Festival. This crosshatching was literally drawn across the front of their signatures, to obscure them, as the ownership of, and bragging rights for, that five-foot-high ceremonial green pepper was being transferred. Or as one out-of-towner thought it was, a green apple.
— And speaking of things prominent in The Village, what is it with all the good guys passing on? The death of the man known simply as Hunch was observed in a three-hour Friday morning ceremony at The Village, a place where he was a fixture and with whom his name will be forever intertwined. I never knew Hunch well, but he always welcomed me to his home away from home. I have a hunch that I know where he is right now.
— On a hunch, I sang karaoke at Ground Zero during River Falls Days, namely some Iron Maiden. Even though that is very Old School, many of the very young guys listening on the dance floor really got into it and strutted their stuff. They then got on stage themselves and did a killer version of Queen’s Bohemian Raspsody, not an easy one to pull off, which set the stage for several such quality renderings. Meanwhile, there were chalk markings all over the sidewalks announcing the impending arrival of the new and improved “new Boomers,” which is actually named Moonshiners, and promises to have expanded hours.
— During a late-night weekend foray, I saw a man wearing reflective construction garb waving people on at the corner of Walnut and Second streets, where there had been major road work done and a big sign said to watch your step. I thought to myself, the city and its work crews must really be putting safety at a premium to be out this late waving on traffic. On my way back home, I found I had been barking up the wrong tree, since there were a couple of joggers with similar reflective clothing going down the main drag. This, indeed, was the weekend of the annual Ragnar race, which features hundreds of miles of 24-hour relay running and cuts through Hudson in the wee hours.

Flooding and fireworks effected local nightlife, bust or bang …
— Earlier flooding by the Stillwater bridge meant that, essentially, Houlton was shut down for several days. Both Guv’s Place and the Cajun Club closed early a few times, spurred mostly by the fact that few customers could get there. Another place that had such a problem was the Valley House banquet facility, although they noted — oddly — that the recent detour because of construction on the new Stillwater bridge was not as much of a worry. That detour, which diverted Hwy. 35 traffic around on County Roads V and E, meant that cars could not go directly from Houlton to the Valley House, but needed to head east and then most of the way to Hudson, then north again. Still, their staff said it was not that big a hassle.
— Blame it on the fireworks across the river? A young man was heard on Second Street in Hudson to say, “We’re in Stillwater, aren’t we?” Just like a patron at the Smilin’ Moose who said erroneously about Pudge’s Bar, “that’s five miles south of here.”
— Just in time for the Fourth of July, Dick’s bar and grill began serving Capital brewery drink, which had a logo of a large dome on it. It has now arrived much later than any prohibition era vote that might have taken place under such a dome, which is good because Dick’s advertises itself as being open continuously since 1860.
— A customer at Dick’s who works nights in St. Paul said that the fireworks shooting there, including people at each other — which probably were purchased in the Hudson area — got so rowdy that the cops essentially threw up their hands for lack of ability to get it under control and left these hardened criminals have at it.
— This caused me to say offhand to one of my bartender friends on the hill, with tongue in cheek: “Did you hear that Beer Can Island was blown up? But there was so much alcohol to be found, that it put out the flames.” He responded, “I thought Beer Can Island was underwater because of the flooding!” Back at ya.
— On recent weekends, three busloads of theme-party dancers strutted their stuff all at once at Dick’s, and at the opposite end near the former More-4 parking lot, two buses parked, meaning you had to walk a ways to shake your booty!
— Some of the almost-double-wide tractor trailers that late on a recent weekend were filtering through downtown Hudson on their way back to Interstate 94, reminded me of the good old days when there were dozens of these coming from the summer mega-concerts in Somerset. Particularly in my memory, was the Sevendust huge bus with band imagery plastered all over the side that left a motel on The Hill and made its way to the freeway headed toward Milwaukee for another show. And as long as we are on the subject of vehicles promoting things, has anyone else noticed the long gone, or so we thought, recent reappearance on the late-night scene of Packer flags affixed to driver’s side windows? Or the small stringed instrument being strummed by a taxi cab driver outside of the Smilin’ Moose to “drum” up business? Or the Packer-like signs on propped up on the windows of the local lodge’s dedicated taxi service?
— With the river flooding closing up things right and left, did you notice that early on, when the city closed down the northbound left turn lane on the Main Drag heading away from the Dairy Queen intersection, two of the first three cones on the south end of the detour were knocked over? Apparently, some gawkers cannot be stopped. On a related note, a bartender at Dick’s said that as a double-edged-sword type of scenario, if he’s flooded out and can’t get to work so will be most of the downtown. Yes, he lives on First Street but no, as a full disclaimer, he added he lives on the second floor.
— There also has been construction aplenty on streets near the bar zone, but not enough so you couldn’t park a tiny little red sports car. There was one so small that it could be seen legally parked in the same stall as a pair of orange road-work drums, which took up ten feet of space themselves.
— And at the Blackout Night at Dick’s, there was this very wordy promo: “Our annual turn the lights down and out so you can put your glow on while dancing to the DJ.” When attending, I was wondering if my Smilin’ Moose wristband conflicted with the glowsticks around the lower arm that they were handing out. I also saw a woman making the northward trek up Second Street, past Stonetap, sporting her glowstick like a headband. I also saw a crew of dancers in the dark wearing T-shirts that said sickkick, apparently a partial reference to the soccer World Cup. (I could see them because the shirts were white).
— In another fashion feature, bartender Jessie was working while wearing shades after being back from near the sunny Equator, where she didn’t do a lot of sunning, rather loads of volunteer service work (and not behind a bar). The shades were so coolly big that she had to wear them at the tip of her nose to see to rinse the dishes. And, on the Fourth, one of the servers had a large top-hat decorated in red, white and blue colors, which was only topped by a co-worker’s take on a Raspberry Beret.
— Also at Buffalo Wild Wings, a decorated board almost the length of a soccer goal (OK that’s a bit of an exaggeration) had the head holes cut out like a pillory so people could stick there own in and be photographed. Two thoughts: If you are a member of the Brazilian team that suffered an embarrassing loss, is your posing mandatory? And, is it true that if you’ve headed too many soccer balls and your head is embarrassingly swollen, are you barred from striking a pose (OK I’m kidding).
— A guy approached me during Booster Days, who I at first thought was a member of that club, then found otherwise. He had a novel story idea he thought I had the special where-with-all to pursue: a certain version of UFOs are real! He then told me at length about an allegedly secret government plot called Dreadnaught, which involves a mega-ship a mile or so in length that is unsinkable. This vessel, he said, was dispatched to aid in the conflict involving Syria, or was it that other country with a like-sounding name that was invaded by Russia over its independence?
— Speaking of Booster Days, the overflow after their bands finished into the Smilin’ Moose was huge. The number of people at the Kozy Korner beanbag toss tournament, part of their sixth anniversary celebration, also was one for the books.
— You can see weird vehicles in Hudson after hours, but none moreso than one that looked an extra-long golf cart, quickly crossing the Main Drag about two blocks north of the Smilin’ Moose. Also passing by was a car with literally dozens of foot-long flame decals decorating the sides.