Not to be a wise guy, but as a writer I always love the rationale, such as it is, to be able to extend a deadline.
At first I thought to invoke the old joke that hey, the three average men, not being so wise, met up with some of their buddies at happy hour (hence the connection with nightlife) and one thing led to another and they forgot about getting out the typewriter until well past Christmas.
Then I was told that in Orthodox churches, they celebrate this what-makes-December holiday until the 19th of January. I also heard that some people in that religious mode want to push it back until the 26th, and that there are even some people on the fringe who want to keep up the celebration until into February (OK I made that up).
Anyway, it can still be seen as a time to rock around the Christmas tree, if it is still up. And the musical subject of this article offers more variety than just the holiday carols that can wear on you.
The theme played out at the seventh annual Colleen Raye Holiday Concert, which really rocks out, and all these things give a reason to still write about it in mid-January. (This could be seen as being a late Christmas gift to the procrastinator).
This year the concert needed to be held at River Falls High School, as the auditorium in Hudson is undergoing a large renovation, which is now almost complete. (See more on this in the second half of this article).
As is often the case, there were many similarities between the Colleen Raye concert and its obvious connection to holiday fare, and the things that are standard at hard rock shows I have been to over the years.
The concert opened with a rockin’ Joy to the World, made so by a horn solo, and this tempo was much like what I’ve seen so often at rock concerts, where you open with a song that rocks out the most of what’s in your set list, and then progresses into a second number of similar volume, before easing up the pace a bit. Only then did the three singers made their entry from stage left, much like Ozzy Osbourne does to lead off many of his concerts, where after a guitar solo he slowly descends from the ceiling in the mouth of a mythological beast, similarly performing a grand entry. The forceful instrumental had made their ten-piece band sound like a full orchestra — or a Rush power trio. The show was solid in that way, but unspectacular, much like a Tim Sigler gig at the Smilin’ Moose. The vocal flair didn’t show up until a bit later.
The guys in the horn section played well to the crowd, swaying with their instruments like Bruce Dickenson of Iron Maiden using his microphone stand. And Debbie O’Keefe, one of the three singers who actually lives in Hudson, did costume changes at intermission into a smokin’ red dress that made her look younger and not frumpy, like you might expect of Courtney Cox. But overall, despite an obvious attempt to incorporate secular songs with the usual holiday fare, the choices were safe. There was no cover of Bruce Springsteen strolling up the boardwalk on Christmas Eve. But there were songs in the style of The Temptations and a blues number true to the genre.
But to keep things sacred, I found it noteworthy that the number of big ornaments hanging from the ceiling was seven, which Christians will tell you is symbolically God’s perfect number. That’s in the same vein as the number of lasers that were shot across the top of the crowd at the first Black Sabbath concert I ever went to.
The Halleluia Chorus was also sung, fittingly, as this was the tribute done by rocker Chester Bennington at the funeral of his dear friend Chris Cornell of Soundgarden earlier in the year.
Late in the concert, the orchestra went on a run with Run, Run Rudolph, although what made it rock was a trombone, not an underplayed guitar. Interestingly enough, there was little in the form of an encore despite enduring applause at the end of the concert.
But to the other show being highlighted in this article, and also moved from its usual venue, the Hudson Schools all-district holiday concert, with several hundred singers and musicians, was transferred from the new auditorium at the high school, which is undergoing part of a multi-million dollar renovation, to St. Patrick’s Church across the street, creating many logistical and artistic challenges, and also disrupting parish activities during this Christmas season. But that season also marks the end of an arrangement for use of the church facilities for music that may not rock out as much as that in downtown Hudson, but gets close, and for other things such as a massive need for more student parking, during which everyone made the best of it.
A total of 760 seats were made available for concert-goers, and parish leaders strived to make as much room as possible. “We got out the tape and measured,” said parish administrator Steve Richter. “Like Lambeau Field, you’ve each got your 22 inches.” And artistically there were challenges, such as giving audience members a good view of the choirs, since the church follows the modern design format of being in the round. Also, a new two-ton granite altar can’t be moved, like the past one, to create room for musicians, so they had to scrounge out whatever space they could find to stand. There was the situation where when multiple choirs and orchestras had been on the stage at the former venue at once, now there was only room for one, which effects the set changes of one group filing out and another making an entrance, that used to be typical. A way around that is to have some singers actually stroll through the audience, so that aren’t completely absent. There are not the usual two balconies for audience members, which aid acoustics and visual effectiveness, and some people observing had to turn their heads regularly to take it all in.
Across the street at the construction zone, the renovation also includes things such as new acoustic ceilings, and an orchestra pit now at the same level as the stage, not raised, one of a group of things that allow easier access for musicians to enter the stage, said high school music director Andy Haase.
As a result of the needs for rehearsal time, the Eucharistic adoration that has gone on continually at an adjoining chapel for years was postponed, since when this same type of transfer was done for hosting the fall concert, people often walked in during times of quiet meditation and tried to strike up conversations, Richter said. “We did get some complaints.” But the postponement was not sitting well with some the leaders of the adoration, who thought this might be an opportunity for those not familiar with the practice to learn more about it, and there was an initial miscommunication about the continuation question regarding the adoration, during the time of concert rehearsals that last most of the school day for over a week.
But the shift of the concert did create an evangelism opportunity. “It’s great that kids are doing it,” said Richter, referencing the fall concert where students asked one girl about religious icons and other items, “you’re Catholic, what’s this and that for?”
Other parish activities also had been rescheduled, but overall the parish was happy to be helpful to the overall community, such as by hosting funeral visitations for prominent non-Catholics that have attracted people by the hundreds, he said. Another example is a formal arrangement that has gone on for years, allowing permit parking by dozens of high school students at the church lot during school hours, then having them walk several hundred yards. The parking arrangement has expanded to virtually the whole church lot during the day as the renovation is going on, as part of the project is tearing up the old high school parking lot and providing a new one with greatly expanded capacity. A third part of the project, on the same grounds is a new football stadium with all the (Christmas?) bells and whistles.

A weekend without the one-man-band is withdrawal. So instead view holiday lights that are never turned off, especially those fit-for-NYE, all-night disco balls!
— And then it came to pass, there was to be three weekends without a Sunday Jeff Loven performance at Dick’s because of the timing of the holidays. Thus it was the Night Before Christmas (actually a week before) and it would have to last until well into January, for this local hiatus, the first consecutive weekends missed at Dick’s in more than a decade by the singer-guitarist. And on this (holy) night he doubled up on same-wording, street-rod lingo for names of the toy cars by two different designers given away on two of his three nightly trivia contests. They had just the right similar, manly tone, (pete and repeat)?
— And it also came to pass, as each then went home to his own “country” after bar closing, that there still were houses that had their Christmas tree lights on not all YEAR long, like the song by that Redneck country woman, but all NIGHT long. Looking wonderful into the wee hours.
— Behind the bar at Pudge’s saloon and eatery, there sits a full-blown Nativity stable, a dozen pieces in all (that includes the animals), not exactly the kind of Xmas merriment you’d expect to find at a tavern.
— In a front yard in Bayport, there are several disco balls that smack of New Year’s Eve — compounded by a couple more in the center of town — and the display of a neighbor one house down made reference to another holiday classic, Snoopy riding his doghouse, complete with rotating propellers.
— I wanted to buy a gift to reward such holiday cheer, but I was fearful that the “virtual” gift card I saw advertised might not exist at all.
— And out and about immediately after Christmas, in the proper colors for the season, were patrons with both red and green hair. They should get a gift for being so bold.
— A pair of bell ringers were challenging each other to push themselves beyond their limits, as it was late at night. One said to the other, can you ring that thing a little more often?!? So much for holiday cheer. For that, they should have been standing outside Stone Tap, which has a couple of beer kegs (I’m assuming they’re empty) flanking their door and filled with holiday greenery. The ones who placed them there (did they indulge first?) might want to heed the signs every few miles, to the point of annoyance, along Interstate 94 that are hawking the benefits of having holiday cheer while still sober.
— A woman I met at the bar said that the next day, she actually was going home to Pennsylvania (and we assume some homemade pumpkin pie).
— Just prior, she might have come back to one of two very-late-in-the-season ugly sweater contests at local haunts. They were on the 22nd and 23rd. Last chance to dress down before you dress up?
— I wished one of my bartender friends, Happy Hanukkha, and then added two things: (1) If I am not Jewish, can I get away with saying that? and (2) I am actually a Closet Jew, but hadn’t told anyone — but isn’t that status the reason for being in the closet?
— But now on to that other staple of the season — football victories. A woman came into Pudge’s over the weekend shortly before closing and asked the bartender, “have you seen two drunk guys wearing Viking jerseys?” There’s lots of competition for that answer. Like when I was two houses down from my house on Cherry Circle North and saw a guy, who appeared to be staggering, make an apparent attempt to thumb a ride. Hitchhiking through a small cul-de-sac?
— But the Viking-Packer contest was not the only game in town. Ohio State football was on tap at Buffalo Wild Wings, and flanking a woman friend were two men who just couldn’t stop talking about the Buckeyes, (which is unusual for Wisconsin!) And she herself was wearing a Disney theme park sweatshirt, (wouldn’t you think Florida Gators?) Then while away for the holidays, my traveling partner, who is a Viking fan through and through, also found herself flanked, by a pair of enemy Packers backers, one of whom noted the initial NFL had a team in the enemy state, that being the Duluth nearly-dozen (I believe they were officially called the Bulldogs). Separate, but related: OSU vs. Wisconsin was on the tube at 4 p.m. (or wait, that was basketball). The football game was advertised as being at 8 p.m. (or wait, that was Eastern time). So the actual gametime, in Central time, was 7 p.m. (in media sports schedules, is using Central time going the way of the metric system?) The producers of a recent Carol Burnett remembrance might think so, as they had the star of their show note in her trademark farewell that it was going through a certain hour before they’d have to say “so long,” but this was actually off an hour because it took into account Eastern time.

Santa had to waylay his tattoo shop experience, but there are still Nutcracker soldiers, and BBQ and ice cream loosely combined, not to mention the typical ugly sweaters to be seen.
— This seemed like a novel holiday offering, a Santa visit to a tattoo parlor. However, just days before the event was to take place, that Santa, one of the main ones who does such a portrayal locally, suffered a heart attack and needed to cancel, I was told by a worker at Ink Factory Tattoos downtown. (I was informed the other day he’s probably going to be all right, just lay off the fruitcake and candies). So Jay, the shop owner, ended up scrambling to take down signs around the heart of Hudson that had advertised the offering. The guys at Ink Factory seemed a bit bummed out by this turn of events and it shows that its not only the kids and family types who get into this type of family fun. But there is a still a remnant, the dozen or so Nutcracker themed soldiers in the great big window that leads into the Ink Family establishment.
— Is this a case of BBQ meets DQ? The shuttle bus for Big Guys Roadhouse BBQ has been parked outside the Dairy Queen often at nights. Is there a merger in sight? A different take on Mexican-style deep fried ice cream, with in this case a BBQ fried twist?
— The ugly sweater party season got going early with a Dec. 2 gig at the Hudson Bowling Center, as they are trying to reach out to a broader audience of patrons. Although with the way some of those outfits looked, it could be considered a “strike” against them? Just kidding …
— Recent winds have blown over some of the holiday-themed glowing characters on peoples’ lawns late at night, as they just just weren’t big enough to withstand near gale force. Reminds me of a local bar patron who throws the best holiday parties and always has a larger-than-life figure of Homer Simpson as Santa in his yard. Seems appropriate that Homer would get blown over.
— A patron at Dick’s said that she’d been on a pub crawl in the Twin Cities and “it was a drunk fest since 4:45.” Hey it’s got to be 5 O’Clock, or close, somewhere. To which the bartender said he’d never really consider such indulgence, when off duty, until around midnight. And another 5 p.m. reference follows. A big vehicle with a long arm was putting the sign in place for the coming-soon Rio Loco at right around that time during a recent Friday. So it’s obviously not just the Santa lightup night that occurs at that time.
— Two women came all the way from Webster to watch one-man-bander Jeff Loven play at Dick’s rather than the venue at which they are used to seeing him, called Whitetails. That was enough for them to score free drinks. And another relative newcomer won the trivia contest, her name was Tally, (I hope I spelled that right), and I gave it that spelling because it means her “tally” of such victories now stands at one. And up the block, there was another play on words involving spelling, as the Agave Kitchen’s marquee brought to the forefront a frequent theme involving their family atmosphere: “Spelling test tomorrow, Wensday.”
— One more Back in Black reference, and we’re not only referring to the AC/DC guitarist who died, Malcolm Young. A balloon flying late-night on a downtown parking meter said about Black Friday, “Happy Thanksgiving, shop small.” Would that mean patronizing one of the nearby bars and purchasing a shot, (small drink), since they are small businesses too?

So, go ahead and deck the halls, or the restaurant booths, with boughs of Chaunte. OK, that’s just plum Loco, unless you blame it on Rio:

— Pudge’s is already decked out in Christmas decorations, as they were striving to take full advantage of the crowd partaking in the annual Tour of Homes, by offering them a taste of the season. Included are several big, gingerbread-style houses now in The 304 restaurant-end of the place that come from the home of the proprietors. There’s even a Christmas tree already up on one of their three patios.
— New local country sensation Chaunte Shayne won the 92 KQRS talent contest earlier in fall. “I did a live interview this morning and I will be heading to Las Vegas in November with the Morning Show,” she posted. The singer of the CD Sweet Trouble, in Vegas!?!
— It now has a name, and will be the second “cantina” in town. To name it, (and embrace it?), the former Ellie’s has been renovated into the Rio Loco cantina and tequila bar, to be open soon. Noteworthy of what you can see of the renovation at the moment, as the windows are shuttered (to make what’s inside a surprise?), is a high wall of stone way above the door, and some fresca-style art work in-between. Their logo has a skeleton-type-creature on a surfboard, and upon my arrival at Pudge’s a block-or-so away, the jukeboxes both upstairs and downstairs were playing almost all Surfer Boyz-type music.
But back to getting stoned, (sorry about the pun), the new cantina becomes the fourth place to open or be renovated in recent times while rocking the house with their use of stone decore. Its practically wall to wall at the new Pudge’s, exists in the form of large boulders and other items that give the patios at the Smilin’ Moose a Lake Superior shoreline feel, and going back just a bit further, there is of course the look that was given to Stone Tap.
— Is this a boy among men? Just before there was an announcement about Justin Timberlake singing at the soon-to-be Super Bowl in Minneapolis, a friend and I discussed how boyishly young the guy looks, and does he really have game? And as far as the famous wardrobe malfunction, it seems much like a pimple-faced high school student exposing the breast of his favorite I-have-a-crush-on-teacher. Clue in Van Halen’s “Hot For Teacher,” only with guitar that’s less worthwhile.
— The band Bad Kitty, which played at Pudge’s recently, had something novel going when having one of their main guitar players double as the guy adjusting the sound board directly in front of him. The seating area is cool because of the presence of a fireplace and sofas that spread out almost enough to accommodate a dozen people. That same style of treatment, complete with cushy pillows setting on top, plays out in the downstairs restaurant.
— It may exist elsewhere, but is not seen. Mallory’s restaurant and rooftop bar has an online site that gives an exacting map of areas to which they deliver food, basically everything inside the limits of Hudson and North Hudson, just missing a cranny here and there. And, of course, if you stay home to eat their stuff, you won’t get the ambiance of their rooftop bar. But now that the weather is getting colder … no worries, as the rooftop is heated.
— What, there was the No. 9-ranked Clarkson Golden Knights losing to the Minnesota Golden Gophers in women’s volleyball, while some guys played some virtual golf, as in Golden Tee (the only one of the three names that’s only two words).
— As seen in an ad on sports bar TV: “Tired of hunting for a job?” Well if you no longer like taking shots at animals, how about pouring shots for animals, by being a bartender!
— Last on the entertainment commentary, for a reason, is the concert that was slated called AARP Rocks, headlined by Bruce Hornsby. Or maybe considering the “old man take a look at my life, I’m a lot like you were” factor, that should be either decades-ago baseball player Rogers Hornsby, or decades-ago Sabbath bassist Geezer Butler.
— On the other end of the age spectrum, on Saturday, which was the coldest night of the season, there was a lot of bare midriff to be seen, including a woman at the Smilin’ Moose who had on little more than a bikini, (OK, she did have big boots). Hope she didn’t have to drive back to Minnesota.

This post-Halloween wrap-up, much like a mummy being fully wrapped up, focuses on a place that unlike most Halloween over-the-top stuff, gets scary in a minimalistic way:
That being Gordie’s in Little Canada, a occasional haunt of mine, to get out my North Hudson-based demons, because like was said in my current Picks of the Week department, it might be considered WEST Hudson:
So here goes, (with commentary), AND I DEVILISHLY DEFY YOU TO DIFFER!!
— It bears repeating that on the women’s bathroom door, there is a costumed mummy for the mommies.
— There is a sign under which brave bartenders wish to pass — because they are witches? — that says Fallout Shelter, the end is near. That might be especially appropriate for this Halloween.
— On the end of the tap-beer-pouring monstrosity of a machine that faces customers, sit three skulls, one with rotted veins. Wouldn’t you think his blood alcohol content would have gone down by now, days after Halloween, possibly saving his life?
— Then there are things such as skeletons on a string, as left hanging by the end of a rope? Hey, skeletons are cool, don’t lynch them.
— A blob of a creature, with most of the weight way at the bottom, looks like Slimer in the Ghostbusters movies. Should someone alert Dick’s Bar, where there is the film-themed pinball machine, and once in a while Bill Murray?
— Lastly, and you might even need to use your imagination more on this one, there are all the beasties in a boxed game where you pick them with prongs (scary in itself). I would estimate that 51 percent of the gruesome creatures being grabbed are indeed decked out for Halloween, (including that pink chicken with headgear?)
And I know I said “lastly,” but one more time: Over the main Halloween holiday, I encountered a true-to-life, actually-in-human-flesh psycho on the Minnesota end of the St. Croix Valley (go figure). He threatened to beat the crap out of me and throw me out the door physically if I did not leave the bar and grill instantly (turns out like in most cases with psychos, he was all talk). The guy had an inches long, stringy white beard worthy of a terrorist, and looked so old he had probably pulled this stunt before, (check his back 40 for corpses?). Anyway, he claimed I had been harassing the bartenders, (huh?). I responded that I knew two of them, and had said hello for 3.7 seconds while ordering a single beer, and that I didn’t know the other one and had said nothing to them. (Again, huh?). I got concerned when the guy followed me out to my car. Call Bayport Bellevue?

Are you 21? Or mature enough to take it? What follows are that many examples of the costumes and decore that were all over as Halloween was celebrated in adult style several days beforehand, last Friday and Saturday:

— I saw a woman thrusting some of the most demon-like long horns I have ever seen, like a big ram on steroids, much more than size 13, to use a shoe reference. Uhm, between “ram” and “shoe size,” you would think that was a guy — and we aren’t talking about Al Bundy.
— At a late-night shopping spree — for Halloween candy? — I saw a clerk hold up pink-animal-PJs with the front swapped for the back as far as the middle “part,” thus showing an eight-inch-long-item that looked just like a penis! We both laughed when we realized what it resembled. There was a woman, again the gender aspect here appears wrong, who was out on Saturday with a similar costume minus the “tail.” During the previous days when people were deciding what to wear, there were more costumes focusing on male anatomy, but they referred to that organ with euphemisms such as “man part,” or Large Pen Is (with an instrument a staunch bit thicker than a pencil running from a male model’s neck to, well uh …) I didn’t know that the FCC’s wording ban went as far as those seasonal Halloween stores.
— A bartender at Dick’s, befitting that name, had a super-high-riding thong and sparkly glasses, much like a Vegas showgirl. Top that off with a theme being pumped up by advertising in flyers, that being pumpkin spice lingerie (whipped cream not included). And then there was the “star” eyed makeup sported by many Moose servers, like the lead singer of KISS.
— By the gaming machines at Dick’s was a Gumby-like creature who, despite trying well into the witching hour, couldn’t get his full head to stand up.
— A beauty sported sparkles all around her eye edges, the size of a patch for that, looking legitimately like they were riveted into her cheeks.
— A priest had a tray of Tostitos on a plate, made to look like Holy Communion hosts on a paten. (See we at HudsonWiNightlife even know religious terminology). But what about the wine?
— A sharp dressed man was dancing up a storm and being overtly friendly/clingy, and because of that frenentic motion, was dangerously waving around a sickle.
— Two male sailors, (is this a cliche?), were in proximity to two other Armed Services personnel, who were not together, either in reality or for theatrics.
— A witch won a first-place prize, then found a rival with the same green skin and scepter-head at Pudge’s, which also had an actual-looking terra cotta soldier by the first pool table.
— Then we get animals involved, beyond just the humans in costume, with a seeing eye dog dressed like a skunk with a white stripe going down the back.
— It can be a demon to look like Damon on Halloween. When a foursome of people walked into Green Mill at the same time, one of them just wouldn’t let go of the idea that a counterpart looked just like Matt Damon. (I’ve reported on such resemblences before in this web page, but have never seen anything like this). “I loved you in Good Will Hunting,” the enamored one said, to which the recipient responded in a dismissive way. But the first guy kept it up. “I suppose I should take that as a compliment,” the Damon-like guy responded, hoping that would close the commentary. But the chatter still kept up for another minute or two.
— The numbers 10/6 and colors purple/green were shown on a medium-size-hat worn by a woman at The Bungalow. Could those be predictions of the regular season’s final record for the Vikings? Or less likely, I dare say, Packers?
— The skeletal costume of a woman Woody’s bartender had plenty of ribs showing, throughout the area of the rib cage, but not a lot of cloth underneath, as we’re bringing sexy back.
— You couldn’t help but notice a number of great big spider webs, the size of a small room or large closet, pinned to the ceiling corners at Woody’s.
— Two female pirate bartenders were serving drinks upstairs at Pudge’s, even boasting a matching series of colors. Yes, they said they planned their similar attire. And there was a Captain Morgan to be seen around town, as well.
— How is this for a theme involving a whole litter? There were that many women, in one gaggle of a group, out sporting kitty ears of various styles at a local haunt.
— Lots of people from Guv’s Place wandered over to The Village Inn for a drink on Friday night, then trekked back for the costume contest. They were treated to even more monsters than the usual at Guv’s, complete with new versions of their trademarks, a creepy corner filled with creatures, and all kinds of bone-based decore over the front windows.
— Friend Michelle went as Santa’s slutty sister, although she took her act far afield, but it still smacked of a ho, ho, ho motif (again, oops the wrong holiday, for a second time).
— There were a trio of glowing pumpkin figures, lit at all hours, when heading back along the Hudson to North Hudson crawl, from the costume parties.
— The night of, I heard an organist just after the end of a Catholic Mass playing really creepy music, right out of Phantom of the Opera.
— And lastly, Halloween could be ended by taking in “Late Night Bites” at Perkins. Bloody good! Just like the all-out, but all-in-fun, with a macho twist, blood lust shown by dozens and dozens of fans at local sports bars for that Ultimate Fighting cheering, and raving, that’s way over the top. No holds barred!

It was only the second week in October, and Halloween was already showing off its Oct, oops I mean act, to anyone on the downtown party scene:
— Halloween got its unofficial start in mid-month, as the Smilin’ Moose was invaded by a man in an over-the-top, top-to-bottom, multi-colored tux, and a woman who could have been his bride, decked out in a Gothic-themed wedding dress that was complete with big white boots. The next weekend before the Haunting Night, there were about a dozen more people who just couldn’t wait to dress up. One of them pretended to be a big, bad bouncer, and checked out me and my ID, saying bluntly I looked like I had restrictions that would require her to read the fine print at length before letting me in. But its OK, the real bouncers said, as she does this all the time to a wide variety of people.
— A couple of women who formed the company St. Croix Paranormal, and said that the spirits they chased didn’t always consider them welcome, was highlighted in the Hudson Star-Observer a couple of years ago. There was no contact information listed for the duo, which makes one wonder if they disappeared like so many of the beasties they pursued that were once part of this world. There would seem to be at least a ghost of a chance.
— They say that the lower level, in back, of Seasons Tavern might be haunted, but apparently apparitions can roam — maybe because a cave that heads southward. A former server there who lived just a few houses away on St. Croix Street N., said that at one point a bed appeared to move, and that there were other monstrosities of movement. Word had it that someone had died there decades earlier. That’s a long time to be stuck between both here and the netherworld.
— What’s in this year for costumes? A salesperson at one of those big Halloween stores said it was hands-down the character Pennywise. Upon a return visit, another clerk said that their best sellers had been both that creature, or Wonder Woman, or going back to referencing the former figure, “any evil clown.” Also “in” is pumpkin-themed and colored lingerie, but surprisingly out are Trump masks. Maybe way too scary.
— At one bar, on the “ladies” room door, there was a “mummy,” and at Dick’s there is a figure of a long, cool vampiress, not with a red dress, but rather purple. And two rooms away in of all places, the main dining area, there is an authentic iron maiden, which resembles with its studded and decked out metal, the knight’s outfit at one Twin Cities Halloween superstore. Dick’s always has the best monsters hanging from their ceiling, and this year my favorite is a big fat face, with floppy hat, that has thick strings like string cheese hanging from its jowls.
— The new Pudge’s upstairs pool room has now become the source of — gasp — girl talk. For five minutes nonstop, two lovely young ladies got their game on and gabbed solely about their costume plans. The only heard part I heard for sure was a reference to “boy-cut shorts.”
— The costume last year of a worker at Dick’s went over fabulously, although it didn’t look fabulous, and was definitely not politically correct. It was of a pregnant woman (artificial baby bump) wearing a houserobe and having a cig hanging from her lips. Less popular and kinda gross, a group of patrons agreed, have been the costumes depicting a woman actually giving birth.
— These are the top two picks, in my book of hauntings, of skeletal creatures around town now: A whole-length-of-body skeleton was seen positioned in a wheelchair, (and I guess he didn’t soon enough get the full medical treatment he needed), and a skull, without the body, was on display at the Village Inn inside a glass globe, (apparently the person operating this crystal ball saw something really bad). Which brings to mind the recent time at the North Hudson haunt that the old classic by Styx (a band name in itself having Halloween motif), of Crystal Ball was pulled out of the vault, (and maybe could be used to figure out just how that skull got to be, well, nothing more than a skull).
— My brother in law, a conservative Catholic, has one of those haircuts that’s not exactly a crewcut but not far short of it. It was pointed out to him, much to his chagrin, that on either side of his head where you would normally have parted hair, there recently were sprigs of hair sticking upward that resembled devil horns. Only on Halloween? Or is this recent retiree considering a new career as a heavy metal rocker?
— The other day my friend Tom and I were taking in some music, and soon there was the popular modern pop song that referenced “cocoa puffs.” I suggested that Captain Crunch, used to running his own ship, might be jealous of this additional exposure, to which Tom said, as be befits this time of year, “or Frankenberry!”
— One of those great big ‘ol beer trucks I saw at a convenience store the other day said that their product takes hopheads and grants them Asylum, which is part of the name of their brew. This time of year, having an asylum provided would only seem fitting.

Forty-six and Two makes only 48, but I wanted to go two more to come out to 50 days, (with apologies to Tool):

— A Kozy Korner sign recently noted that there are only 50 days until Christmas — Eve or Day? — (and only ten until holiday shopping starts?), but was that message updated daily, as the days until drop-dead-Xmas-shopping-deadline change as every 24 hours pass? It seems that there now is a village sign ordinance that enforces that 24-hour accuracy. (Just kidding).
— The shirts often seen at the Smilin’ Moose, “The Juice is on the Loose,” could never be more appropriate than at this time, as OJ Simpson, aka The Juice, has been released from prison. Could he come running back here, to get one of those orange-juice-based screwdrivers?
— The long hours put in to create the new Stillwater bridge require employees on such projects to unwind after the work day. Sometimes long after. When the Hudson bridge over Interstate 94 was severely in need of refurbishing, to the point that many bolts were missing from the structure and needed to be replaced, guys traveled the next half-mile to Pudge’s to get schnockered until close. Then they’d have to start their vital work again — to keep the bridge from falling down, although not London way — about three hours later, at 5 a.m. Just how long, remind me, does it take for alcohol to get out of the system? It was this macho culture that a colleague at the Hudson Star-Observer had to fight to win over the crews and get them to give her the unfettered access to photograph their sometimes intricate jobs, which she proceeded to do each week, over and over and over …
— In the bathroom at Woody’s in Bayport, there was for months a big poster and radio ad for One Republic, (it was then replaced with a similar pitch for Imagine Dragons, complete with ink mustaches, beards and piercings drawn on, and then replaced a second time with an ad for Second Wind exercise equipment). I swear, the most prominently placed “Republic” band member in the photo has the same hair bump above the bangs that I do! And that had by a young TV show host, from Adam Ruins Everything, with that one going almost ear to ear, bun hair that resembles a parakeet. By now, going back to the bands, if I could only sing something other than metal … And, it should be noted, the pitchster/owner for Second Wind is now shown sporting a hat the covers his slight baldness.
— One of those TV sports networks that are omnipresent at local sports bars said that two batters “each struck out swinging to end the game.” Were they at the plate at the same time? Or, does this give whole new meaning to the idea of switch hitting, with batters on both the left and right sides of the plate at once?
— Blue Light special in aisle one! Or should I say blue, or “Bud,” can? The 24-hour Freedom Value Center in North Hudson had for days, just a few feet from their front door, a shopping cart full of deep discounts on canned beer and things like it, just in case you needed to top off your night — as long as its before midnight. Bet it goes fast, maybe a bit faster than a similar special a few months back that featured in an equally prominent place a rack of summer dresses. A clerk confirmed the demand for the discounted liquor, saying someone came in and bought out half of what was in the cart. So, the staff has needed to replenish and replenish … And everything indeed sold well, with the possible exception of 40-ounce bottles of Olde English going for 79 cents, (until I snapped them up).
— Do you remember the hard rock group Clutch, which had Twin Cities ties that go back a couple of decades? Erik Raley, a Dick’s stalwart, and I had some conversations about their lyrics back then, but they never really did make it nationally, except in their specific genre. But now I swear they’re back, in the form of background music for Arby’s new BBQ sandwich made with Kentucky bourbon whiskey. Sounds like a good chaser after a night out.
— The bars I have been in, they open the bottle for you and bring it to you without the cap, someone said. So you can’t win the game where there might be something printed under the cap? Oh no, not in Hudson haunts.

Just a little bit more to do on Husker Du, call it part two:

There are indeed local tie-ins, although maybe a bit of a stretch. The now deceased Grant Hart was called in the local press as a maniac drummer, along the lines of the possibly more notorious John Bonham and Keith Moon, which got a lot more airplay (which doesn’t always mean much, I realize). But there was a largely Hudson based alt-rock band back in the day called Captain i (lower case intended) who had a drummer named Ozzie, not only a singer, and not only slammed away with a vengeance, but also did lead vocals for them. (Sound familiar? Take it to Hart). But Ozzie said he got tired of the double-duty, even though like Husker Du they got regular college-station radio airplay, in addition to their regular gigs that included those on Thursday nights at the old Dibbo’s.
It was also noted, in the City Pages piece where the past Minneapolis scene was continued to be worshiped, that Dave Pirner of Soul Asylum — a band that like The Replacements and the Stinson-songsters of that now largely defunct scene — at least once joined Hart on stage. Pirner also played Float-Rite Park in Somerset during a summer mega-fest and allegedly didn’t even leave a tip when the flotilla wound its way back through Hudson toward the freeway, and Pudge’s was the destination of choice for Sunday night offsale. The connection that ties this all together? My friend Shawna was the bartender who both served Pirner and also brought her friends on a regular basis to go see Captain i.
A last word on Husker Du came from this local musician: “Wasn’t a fan. Don’t know them. The guy who passed away pissed me off the one time I saw him.”

Other recent Du-ings:

— I like getting Kozy (who doesn’t), but sometimes I have to admit I’m just not in on the joke. At sign at The Korner recently said, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles party cancelled. Thanks Todd.” Wasn’t he one of them? Or is that part of the gag? And before that, and this one is easy to grasp: “Our dough is so fresh it makes Will Smith jealous. Should that say allegedly?
And one last Kozy-ism: When was the last time its sign has promoted three sports events to be shown on TV within the same hour of starting time, Raider football, Twins baseball, and Brewer ball. And think of the possibilities if either or both of NFL football or Badger ball were added to the mix!
— This was quite the road trip, and if its taken too much further, just might become a Wisconsin Death Trip. (Sorry about the second reference in just a couple of weeks). A construction guy who starting pounding rum drinks — with the end of the binge a local haunt — before a lot of people even begin their work day, said he had come back from a fairly recent work trip the night before in Iowa, where it was even hotter than here. Liquid refreshment seemed to be the best way to deal with this heat. As he said, “I think my truck has a recall, it stops at every bar.” Again, quite the road trip. All that’s missing is, as one tavern, spelled it, OktoBEERfest.

Then there was a big pig on the highway, and a big chair that was passed by that was separate from the one in your vehicle:
The Bacon Bash festival was located in River Falls, since its now mid-September, but the greasy droplets of its presence were all over the area. A truck for a local food company was seen with a three-foot-wide pair of eagles wings adorning its back window, with a different creature positioned in the middle. You guessed it, a pig. And the following could be from that old school CD, “Songs from the big chair.” On a sidewalk not far away, a big easy chair was positioned for pickup by anyone who would want it, saying “Big Guys” about where your neck would go. Is that a reference to Big Guys Roadhouse BBQ, which also is nearby? After all, one of its proprietors, by the name of Jethro, is not lacking for girth, (he’s more than just a little wide shouldered). Synergy there?
— When in River Falls, for All Things Bacon, you’ll see a small banner for the music group The Upper Cuts pasted just below a street-corner “walk” signal at a height about the same as a basketball hoop. It is a similar distance to the front door of Maverick’s Corner Saloon, which often has live music, including the aforementioned group, and I’m sure many people checked them out during the fest.
— Another band that plays locally, Bones Gang, (like those bones on ribs?), has a comparison to Bacon Bash concerning its music on its web site, although it may not be intentional. “Awesome. (Like being) dipped in awesome-covered bacon. Bacon even makes awesome more awesome.” Could be very presidential, just like Bacon Bash.
— It is a new school year, which brings to mind one of the educators at a local Catholic school. During a welcoming potluck a year or so ago, she told me that — breaking from form — she’d held a job when around college age as a bartender at a biker bar. She said that the cyclists were actually quite nice to serve, even on the rare occasion if someone like herself got the change wrong. Fear God, not the bikers.
— Getting the change wrong? Nickelback, a “rock group,” as the St. Paul Pioneer Press reviewer so vaguely referred to them in his report that — as is typical of him — was nothing more than a recycled press release, played the state fair recently. That may or may not be important to the fact that I bought a six-pack the other day that came to a total of $5.05, and I didn’t have the nickel in addition to my five-spot and bigger bills. This is something that has happened before, even though as a relatively-poor-ink-stained-wretch freelance writer I don’t generally have those twenties and higher. So my joke for the clerk as your favorite punster? I don’t have the nickel back.
— A foursome of women who were at Dick’s Bar and Grill, celebrating something or another, were all wearing sombrero-style hats that were about two inches wide, about the same size as the magarita-salt plastic containers on the other side of the bar. The Jimmy Buffett tribute musician who plays there frequently would probably expand that girth to three inches. The whole scenario reminds me of an old Far Side cartoon, which I’d love to describe, but wouldn’t convey without you seeing it. In any case, I hope the quartet had as much fun as Buffett typically does, and not Warren Buffett, as he gave most of it away.
— At the Village Inn’s party to celebrate their 12th anniversary under current ownership, there were four people needed to carry in the main raffle prize, a big TV. Similarly, as Mallard’s in Bayport marked their anniversary of existance, a favorable online commentator was named of all things, Bonnie Clum. With that kind of star power, things must be just ducky!