Have your cake and eat it too? Tariffs mean many of the goods you take for granted to celebrate your holidays are going up in price, if not in flames. Spring into a summer, too, where we are going to pay the fiddler for that extra 25-or-so percent. What, you think tariffs are free, to fly? No, and especially when it comes to cars. — And newly added jokes …

So, what can you afford to bring to the concert or ballgame or just plain party? And we’re not talking about ticket prices.

Hey, you still want your holiday fish (all of Lent, at least Fridays), potatoes (St. Patrick’s Day), tequila and spirits (Cinco De Mayo and other days) and beer (hey this being in Wisconsin, just about anytime), fruits and veggies for your deli plate (all your parties through the summer), among other things you consume? If you thought when your spouse says leaving a 25 percent tip is too pricey … And you have to be able to drive to get to the restaurant.

Uhm, that percentage, the whole of it, is the typical new tariff cost imposed by us, the US, on many countries. And these above are some of our biggest imports.

They are from our neighboring countries (mostly), the big three (conspirators) that constitute 40 percent of our imports. And in most cases are charged a tariff of give or take a bit, and not coin, 25 percent when they cross over the border.

— WARNING: The following jokes may be sensitive to people in certain regions. (Try to not be too offended).

If government workers were purged under Stalin (how far under), they were sent to Siberia. Under Trump they are sent to Iowa. Furloughed to nothing but farmland.

And a print ad for a company that does homeower repairs and replacements such as transforming your bathroom and more shows a leprechaun. I think his “world class” specialty care is fixing clogged and stained urinals and toilets after St. Patrick’s Day. The offer expires on April 3. —

I will say President Trump — maybe some of the Art Of The Deal is actually legit — is onto something with his threaten-and-then-reap method of handling foreign relations. Subsequent negotiation can be a viable tactic, it turns out.

Cars are shipped here in large numbers from both Mexico and Canada. So with the auto industry facing rising costs for their parts even greater than before, cars will cost more and sales will go down, because of the newer expense, which almost counter-intuitively will impact auto workers in a BAD way. The whole idea behind tariffs is to PROTECT Americans jobs, and in many cases it may do just that. But …

One chart trekking the journey of rods for cars being finished takes them from Canada to Mexico and parts between and back. With each border crossing, more of an ouch!

So if you couldn’t even afford a car before … You better get used to walking. In what will become expensive boots. Since taxis and rideshare companies have to pay for their now more pricey vehicles they operate, too. 

So who will benefit from the huge tariffs? In practice, the rich of course. How? These monies can help fill the gap in revenue made by the tax cuts to those who already have mega maga money.   

Still, even though it’s not something trending, there exists a trade deficit with some countries, such as England. (Forget British Steel and maybe Judas Priest.) But hey, in the US nobody’s working anymore, so not as much to sell, so no big surprise. Nobody’s winning? Among those American companies in the past facing tariffs in the reverse direction from the EU are Harley Davidson and Jack Daniels. So if you want the likes of rocker Zakk Wilde and band to come to your house there …

Our sales of high powered weapons to other countries will, back at ya, be hit with higher tariffs — but at least this might in a slightly related way curb frequent trafficking.

Pricey prescriptions will get worse, back to pre-Biden days? Toy makers have complained about facing the woe in getting parts, so your tots might get ticked, and there is no way Santa will bring his base here. Across Canada.

Trump has said he wants to paste these expensive tariffs onto our neighbors, in part, to stop horrible drugs like fentanyl into the US. Uhm, the Canadian prime minister says only 1 percent of that drug that comes into here is from his country. But I could see its rural areas being great places for drug labs — like long has been the case in just-past-Hudson northwest Wisconsin. 

Not all is isolationist …

So, we’re seeing land grabs of everything anywhere that’s nearby to certain countries. Trump’s plans to deal, or not deal at all, with the likes of Putin appear to be as such. OK, you have the Ukraine. And take Poland, please.

And likewise, would Trump himself stop with Canada? What’s after Europe? North Africa?

That’s in large degree the order that they fell, or were tried to be taken, around 1940.

Hell, Putin might even take Gaza, or what’s left of it. Does he want us?

Cos hey, Trump could be his twin, as far as being territorial. And kick butt and conquer and colonize.

And what’s finally been said, now, is what was being theorized for a while. One of those “brothers” is holding something over the head of the other?? Guess which is which.

Some of the tariff shit has already hit Minnesota — and its social media — like a dirty bathroom wall, via Ontario and its counter-tariff on having us take their imported electrical energy. But since this measure has already been made and its still winter, maybe global warming will really kick in and essentially put some logs on the fire. Because of the scenario, Hudson, sitting nextdoor, will not overheat. Unless Xcel Energy comes through, and with today’s new challenges they may need to become the prophets over profit with this supply situation.

But wait, the solar energy opportunity (SEO) that could save the thermostat has been sent everywhere other (SEO) by our local authorities. Eventually, rolling blackness across the land? You never know.

Yes, energy and oil, crossing both borders, sometimes in direct form to several states and their residents, had come flowing into the good ol’ USA. Wood too, as you thought housing prices were high before? Hey, Canada’s stuff gets sent to China, as well, making the export lines even more complicated.

Maybe as an aside, will courts step in and slay all the tariff madness? The swaying on the high one, which could be called Justice No. 4, is like the Four(th) Horsemen of the Apocalypse. After all, that seems what’s coming.

Since we have been having far more legislation by litigation. If you have enough money to bring the case.

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