In the beginning, there were 15 ways to pool your money and get tickets to that expensive concert, you know the one — but uh wait a minute — its on hold until New Rules are relaxed — but they seem to be going and going and going, so here are ways you can have your Cake and eat it too.

Joe, put your money where your mouth is, and were not talking about the Friday fish fry that will simply not die down. These are the 15-or-so different categories as promised, of dozens and dozens of consumer tips that run the gamut, as only I have deciphered, and the best may be the last. When formerly under-employed, by my 60-hours-a-week once rigid standard, Joe could only watch so much of Everyone Loves Raymond reruns, (and I’ll give you many more such options that you probably haven’t thought of yet), when twiddling his thumbs through entire well-plopped-in-front-of-the-TV commercials no longer counts for exercise, so exercise your brain! How, your brain asks, and if you can hear he or she, you have greater problems then where to find a good but cheap treadmill, but I’ll cover that too. But in these stay-at-home times that should allow for leisure-while-respecting-kiddie-disinfecting, Joe is otherwise wired, and he starts to think and rethink, and analyze re-and analyze, and then gruevel and re-gruevel, (can you tell I’m 100 percent German?) and what does he come up with? Such brainstorming can be good or very bad, much like tricky brain surgery, and you don’t even want to hear my beloved, long-suffering wife chime in.
Thus without further ado, I go where no one has gone before and at length, listed in order of priority, much like the logic Mr. Spock would apply, but the following is a mere summary of what’s coming in each of this web site’s categories in the next weeks and days:
— If you look, there are still good deals on meals around, and not just rabbit food, and even steak for less than the price of hamburger. You can reduce your grocery costs to pennies on the dollar, like I have, if you follow some simple but also separate rules. I’ll let you in on what they are! One to watch is the special hour-or-so offered by many grocers and Big Box stores have first thing in the morning when they open, specifically for people who have disabilities, are elderly, (they often are early risers if retired), are in a high-risk group of those who could contract the virus, and who serve as EMTs or fire-fighters, etc. To the best of my ability, I’ll tell you where to find these places, what the hours are, as they change frequently, usually for the cut-cutting measure of closing earlier at night, and what specifically are the criteria for what jobs and life status qualify, as it is different by location, although I doubt they would kick you to the curb while asking for curbside, or to go inside, if your status is reasonably close to any of those criteria. One thing to add up, some diners will offer 20 percent off the entire bill, even for the take-out option that has taken over, and this beats the heck out of even something like $5 off a $20 purchase, or 50 percent off an entree with purchase of one of equal value. How so? That bill also includes beverages, (even Coke and Pepsi aren’t cheap in many of these venues, although you can sometimes get these “comped” if not using another discount, or if they know you well), and tax and tip, which are not included in the latter example, and therefore are extra cost.
— And for dining, too, there are newer deals, as places still open are competing for a smaller dollar. Yes we all know all about the beauty of coupons and hunting through flyers, watch the expiration dates, but that can be tedious not to mention time consuming, (I’ll look for you in an ongoing way while having an eye for holiday specials). There are places that have always been overlooked who have killer prices, even before the outbreak, but still good food, if only downhome. A key: Get a food co-op of sorts that can include couponing going in your neighborhood, church or business, or more than one such grouping. As much as can be allowed by stay-at-home rules that make it dicey to even cross the neighbor’s threshold, so try to choose one that’s closeby and without the huge lot sizes, and the way this is enforced might vary from city to city, county to county, so be extra sure these days to look both ways when crossing the street … you never know who might come around the bend and lurk your way. And I have to add, just because its silly and so easy a joke, you might give such an officer one of your doughnuts, as things always seem to be about bakery. Come on, didn’t you at least think of such a thing a few months ago on Halloween, with all your excess candy, when the various PDs were making runs that lasted for hours around neighborhoods to ensure the safety of trick-or-treaters until they were at home dreaming of sugar plums dancing in their heads, (holidays mix together these days, more of that later), spreading good will and even better PR by giving out glow sticks, not so much citations and tickets, as key ambassadors for their departments. The extra time on this one night, is worth more than a month of manning the speed traps. I challenge them while on patrol across various jurisdictions, and it seems the units scratch each other’s back like this anyway while late at night, to supplement each others need. We’ve all noticed that, but now there is no bartime scene to babysit, so wouldn’t that free up time for more of this “glow stick” kind of service, much like the proverbial cat who was stuck in a tree, as the very definition of community based policing, to hopefully be done on other holidays too, where the festive nature can make this type of monitoring necessary; think Cinco De Mayo if the partying comes back, the three-in-number Memorial Day weekend, or big gasp, even the ma and pa days if the old folks act up for the first time in … nevermind …
— Conserve and creatively utilize what’s in your refrigerator right now. Even if you’re already a whiz at that, and if you’re only an item or two away from making a killer casserole, I will show you how to use a number of logical substitites for each recipe, using only basic ingredients almost everyone has around, and do what I’ve long done, that’s reducing your food waste to almost zero. That can almost pay the rent, and the more times you wrap your own head around it, you’ll find it becomes second nature, an easy win, and the entree you’ve invented cannot only cut waste because the family helped choose what favorite stuff is in it, but by trial and error, be quite tasty too. Monitor the freshness of perishable items in your fridge with a quick check each day, plan a bit ahead for a time the produce or meat likely be too far gone, and use this as a primer to nip it in the bud, whipping together the aformentioned casserole now. Keep lids on and label them by a date to make, and group various food types into one shelf or half of a shelf, for an easy check on what to make first then second concerning freshness, what date you want to make it, and what search you still need to create a fab entree or appetizer that will rock your dinner party … and yes, you can still have a small one if you follow a group of guidelines, and you might require these double-down tips for a gathering that’s in any way bigger — again see more tips on this from me in coming days. Most styles of ethnic foods have use-by tips that are much in the same mode, for easy monitoring and efficiency in selections that make useful the moving of your favorites, as the first choices to cook, to the front of the shelves or door compartments in the fridge, so they are the first your eyes see. Again, group the ingredients of the same style next to each other, side by side, so logical substitutions are quickly evaluated, and seeing all the possibilities lined up Right In The Front Row might stir the create process and open the door to a whole new type of redacted recipe. Also, place the taller items in a second row, and those medium size on top of any in the front that are short or could be laid on their side.
— Make the final meal prep a family affair. Notice I said final. Whip up the things you know are best for them, but aren’t always a clear choice the kids usually make, and get that in the hopper first, so its set. Then depending on the age of the children, bring them into the process with say, the final three or four ingredients that aren’t expensive, and let them choose their fave(s), and maybe lick the bowl if its their first try. Or if the stuff is really gooey, there might even be a bit of a food fight, but you might have time now more than ever to cleanup after the kids are left to be kids. Staying strictly at home while working and living makes homemakers into home business operators. And maybe dad will be drawn to the clamor, get out of his easy chair, and throw in as a marinade JUST A BIT of the beer, wine or liquor he might be holding — and then be spurred to get out the grill, but check with the public health department first to see if its kosher these days, and that assessment might change by the day — and all the while keeping an eye the game on TV, (hey, dad could find a sport that’s Still Running, to name a local country and rock band he might find classic, all being basically on furlough. However, contests are likely be on an amateur level, but these athletes are prized by man for putting their whole effort and soul into it, playing for the love of the game, not excessive glory). That goes double for the Badger marching band that stops by the village annually at Kozy Korner. The strength of this kind of character is especially needed, and valued, in today’s world. Remembering back, how many rock icons from decades ago were “just ordinary, average guys?” I met, interviewed and even photographed some of these top guns when they played Hudson — yeah you right that right — back in the day, and was surprised to find that many were just your regular, blue-color-like workers, doing a job for a paycheck, and humble to the core. They know their audience is built by person-to-person off-the-cuff introductions and bits of conversation. But there are some on the flip side, who are not necessarily evil, as all those old stereotypes would suggest, but quite quirky in their own slight-bit-of-charming way, if only dealing with one facet of their work and social life. I will tell their names, on both sides of the fence, and specifically what their quirk is, which I gathered while they were here in Hudson of all places to play their instruments, or to play out in the audience, and I’ll throw in the experiences other local people have had while stars border hopped then partied on by, living after midnight, rocking to the door, loving to the morning … Most important, we can learn from their lyrics in this crisis time and beyond, even if some don’t agree with their lifestyles, ditto for my old boss Doug. All in all, teachable moments among chaos, and productive family bonding.
— Along the lines of where to find what, and at the cheapest price, you would need days to sort it all out, especially for people who are from Minnesota and unlike myself don’t have the lay of the local land, so I’m doing it for you, drawing on decades of experience as a reporter, local consumer and food and drink junkie of all aspects — I come from a meat and potatoes family, but still love my salad and stir fry, and even those last two unlock a bounty of different possibilities, so once a base that takes up all of the bottom of a dish and thus is substantial is chosen, or more than one, the combinations of ingredients that can be piled on top of it is endless. More on that soon. Hey, experiment yourself, that’s how the French got crepes and soufles. I don’t know that firsthand, but I wouldn’t doubt it.