President Trump was seen to flub the post-turkey day toss test at the Army-Navy college football game, making it a rather flat non-spiral, although maybe oscillating, over and over attempted, not end over end and going ’round and ’round, like a spun Ratt mic. Feathers (that continue on) in the cap of many a social media mogul. And for that of writers of bad headlines that can’t even master verb agreement, and their takes on this latest Trump flap, of the flippant, traveled the gamut, falling along party lines left and right, like hashmarks.
This of course, from the man who had minted His own coin, with His likeness not Caesar’s, and pay taxes essentially to thus and His pet causes and conflicts, as ’tis the season to quote Christ. So I myself vetted myself, as I have been asked to occasionally flip it before (although by newspaper publishers and not grid game sponsors, although they can be in cahoots or one and the same.) And just maybe sing the National Anthem, though my tenure as that kind of tenor might prove temporary, thus a flop right at the time of the flip. I tossed my own coin, and took care to ensure I made it a quarter, one of my few, as I have more pennies but since they are going out of style and put out of service, are about as useless these days to flip, with their small diameter, as anything but a dime. The Congressional Mint, otherwise known as the lawmakers lounge, is a place where they’ve bantied around the idea of a 15-cent-piece over nickel coffee, but that bill would take decades to pass, and in a year or two be surpassed by a two-dollar coin.
So there would be more and bigger turns, as needed with my Tourette’s and haplessly horrible fine motor coordination. But I adjusted and got the spin right each time, of all five I attempted, and couldn’t end the rotation if I tried. (Unless I brought the thumb up by an extension of the arm only, then it had a prayer to flatten, like a budget should.)
Maybe if He quadrupled down and took one of His own gold dollars out of His pocket, where I’ll bet He carries enough of the prized pieces to fill a gilded ballroom, and then gives them out to homeless people out on the street outside The White House — just don’t go for a totally budgeted, mean $99K, or God forbid double it to near $199K, or provoke a line item veto, or do I need to flip it in form — followed by persuasion to vote for Him for His third term. But it will take that value, per billionaire, for people to care for their neighbors in this bad economy, with most figures simply holding steady or worse going into the holiday break. He of the Bigger Headed Coin than the Monsters could not create such an endowment, in a measure large enough for rich people to snip their hedges from.
But that doesn’t help us now, from the mismanagementness at a much greater morgue than is Fort Knox, another reason he should be able to make it spin without falling. Yee of coinage made by inept cobblers. So, yes, He flubbed the coin toss test, like that of the countess. And then to the tune of starving millions, this is a man who believes he knows a sure thing when He sees it, who knows it could be another Bitcoin. Or five golden rings. Or biomedical adventure, and we won’t get into that nasty additives thing, although it could do double-duty as a cure for mister maladapted medical malady and His hobbled hands. And He who would be king said Biden had vexing health issues in his vortex, an OCD He can’t seem to get past. Give that new main man a hand. For future coin tosses.
For context, it is tradition for a sitting president to attend, and toss upward and out at, Army-Navy games, and Trump has never missed one while in office. You’d think that He would have gotten the gig down by now. But He probably had bombing Syria on His mind.