Can this holiday be a labor of love? If you’re hearty, and you have not done anything with the horseshoe pit yet — and we are not necessarily talking a pig roast — here’s a tip for getting the guests not to outstay their welcome.
In the sacred game of horseshoes, set up in late August due to it being a favorite of my getting elderly dad, the pace was slow. Horseshoes were rolling a greater distance then what they were airborne, making even people in a first-and-ten distance away need to dance out of danger. Odd Uncle Sid thought that him hitting a chipmunk who then redirected and stumbled into the stake — not that steak — constituted a “leaner.” But even though it didn’t have enough fatty tissue to qualify, and had not slammed a beer to get disoriented, the points were taken off the board before they were even up — this is a low-tech family function, with no fast electronics to get up a 3 that looked like a 2 with a couple of lights burned out.
As the afternoon wore on, and another even more invasive game for us oldsters beckoned, something clearly had to be done to score high evnough to end this charade. So in times even more desperate then the virus holding sway over there in Milwaukee, Joe has an idea. He picks up the two horseshoes and issued a warning to watch out even if you’re much further away than that disoriented chipmunk who carried forward, then slammed into the nearest oak tree, but not hard enough to shake acorns. (And as I thought of the upcoming throw, my childhood came back, when I actually killed a gopher in such a toss that I’m sure was motivated by some kind of interstate battle). So it was time for a double grip, and after saying the real motivation was to score double points, and end it all, the game that is, I put BOTH horseshoes in the same right hand and tossed away as one. Alas, no points were scored, or even close, but a booby prize did beckon for me. Dad thought we should call it a tie, then made a great lofty looping motion to have steel hit steel before someone threw out their back, or other place. .
But what else to German families do, at an event like this, which was after all my niece Amanda’s wedding — we eat. Breakfasts and brunches, and lunches, and snacks, and dinners and suppers and at midnight more snacks, with trips to the medicine chest for muscle aches throw in the mix because of throws.
So, as promised by HudsonWiNightlife for some time as a part of its mission, and clamored for by … well only me … here is a plan to eat like a German using all that is already on the shelf, and spend nary an extra coin or two. So make that a Hallmark card using the coin saved by eating the leftovers that were left over. Then there is more dough for a stake so brightly colored you can’t miss it.
So German, and as such meats that can be BBQd with sauces that can be more tangy/smoky/spicy, and seasoned to taste — try a combo of any number of different spices in like amounts, and even just a couple will do, with something like ketchup or tomato sauce, or even pizza sauce, as a base. Looking in my cupboard, I’m seeing right off the bat, various forms of peppers from hot to mild, and still pungent or even sweet, brown sugar, a touch of ground black or crushed red and even a bit more-like-all-spice-tinged pepper, curry or cumin, and even tomato basil as a secondary ingredient, and don’t forget the oregano. Garlic if hearty?
Various forms of mustard, ground up and single in color, can also be championed and placed on each individual piece of a meat that is coined and skewered, and bell peppers, onions and mushrooms can even carrots can complete the mix. Dip them one by one before piercing and place your choice of small greenery such as cabbage between the skin on each. A suggestion if in the Upper Midwest, to start off the ensemble with only a few minutes of late shopping, is $1.99 for five Klements brats and other sausages at many Kwik Trip convenience stores right now. Hot dog packs in the chicken and pork style can even be found for around a buck or less at Aldi. And those steaks are not cut in purely circular form right? So help little Johnnie help you arrange them on what could look like a map of the Midwest, but give him long, thick gloves and for sure forceps and put him make it into a game by giving a time limit. Caution! If you see him falling behind your clock a bit, give help and more time, so he or she do not burn themselves by rushing. Make this an easy going contest, top off the aluminum foil, and wait until the heat is subsided, and the grill parts low in height.
But with that cabbage, there can be cole slaw, and as said before in this column, raid your refrigerator for the two basic items that can make the dressing, mayo or simply salad dressing, and sugar and poppy seed to taste. Be careful of any dietary needs that can crop up and cause the seeds to catch in down below. And maybe just a touch of lemon for a bit more spunk. Where did I get this idea? Thought it up myself, but independent of this practice, I was schooled in its measures by both my mom (very recently) and The Cat Lady we know (not for kitty). And the potato salad is easy, throw together some yellow mustard and mayo, then use some of the aforementioned stuff to get it tangier or creamier. (Or a challenge — bits of both).
Afterward, don’t succumb to old myths and do not refrigerate potatoes or tomatoes long, as they will loose their luster and firmness faster. Also, avoid the temptation to pack your fridge or freezer full of breads and buns — save that for other bulky foods such as full length sausages of many varieties. And be very dedicated in how long deviled eggs remain in there, rather eat them on the go between holiday games — and so I’ve been thinking to tell my sister-in-law, who will toss them too fast in my estimation, in just a couple of hours, if out on a table. (Hey, they’re great, I’ll bite). They can then match up with the sauerkraut in short form, and struedal in long form.