Ozzy’s last of his nine lives had expired with recording Patient No. 9? No the Ironman made it longer, before going to rust in peace in his final resting place. These following Tales From The Crypt include his final farewell show, Back to the Beginning, that now has an end and ever shall be.

Yes, Ozzy Osbourne has finally kicked the bucket — not being kicked out of another band — after riding around its rim in veering circles for many years, and all during that time I said he would certainly die on stage doing what he loved.

My prediction was close. Only a tarot card reading would bring me any closer. I think Ozzy, as in John Osbourne, who recently was praised for of all things his sense of humor, would have loved this running joke. As ran it did. Amongst rumors and health issues and tales of alleged evil-doing that encompassed the entire millennium, and before it.

Prior to Tuesday’s unfortunate but inevitable demise — Ozzy and also his fellow metal mates in arms have sang for years that the reaper will in the long run get us all — there was that killer (sorry about the pun) farewell concert in the birthplace of he and so many metal stars, Birmingham, England, on July 5. One bright, fine day we celebrate independence and the next the literal swan song of an iconic singer, and also a reality TV show star. For once not cryptic, but by literally all accounts full of love. So many superstars hauled out their guitars and got to do a cover song of Ozzy — with or without him — and race their way through a single song or in many cases a full set. There is not word if on some cases, the solos were cut short.

— I’ll call it price creep. Like clock creep, only just a bit faster … When I ventured into the local grocery store, again, I noticed for a third time that the numbers on the shelf labels — like those in ticking time — are over the hours and days and weeks slowly, in small but steady increments, increasing. Not in one great big bang, however, slowly creeping up on you and your wallet, like a nearly direct quote from a poly ad, and very oddly one from the local GOP. Like the vast number of seconds on a clock seems to over time advance just a bit in speed.

This in the grocery aisle started with the jelly, then peanut butter, then bagels, then bread. The specials and house brands were still quite reasonable, but the rest seemed a bit up … just like the ticks on a clock.

Even more past the discounted lane, and on to the next corner over and the mayo and such … Most everyone in the store seemed more harried and moving with a sense of urgency and purpose.

I looked for someone on whom I could test my theory — a couple of flashes of eye contact, back and forth — but no takers. I finally as I headed out, saw an older woman searching quite ardently for floral arrangements and then started my soliloquy. She smiled and nodded halfway through my spiel, up to the point of prices rising only slowly, then gazed down at the flowers again. Like in the Dio song, Don’t Talk To Strangers, sarcastically about meeting people randomly, “don’t smell the flowers, they’re an evil drug that will make you lose your mind …”

Meanwhile, at WalMart, there are still price rollbacks, but they mostly seem targeted and in small groups.

Since that earlier shopping foray, at the start of July, prices have only gone up, especially with some produce, and really, really beef, so have a cow about it. In turns out that, as the numbers have now come in, inflation did increase 2.7 percent in the last 12 months. Trump dismissed the rise as miniscule. —

An earlier “farewell” gig, this time a full tour, was the final time I saw Ozzy in concert, and it featured the full band. It was titled The Last Supper, and as enticed by the promo, I worshipped at the altar. But July 22 would prove to be The Last Call.

On a new subject, the hidden but undeniable comparison was there to the death of Ronnie James Dio earlier in the 2000s. He was the one who famously took over as lead singer and frontman of Black Sabbath when Ozzy departed.

How so?

At the farewell concert, Ozzy and Jack Black just totally went off when covering one of his odes, Mr. Crowley, a very interesting choice (more on that in another post) of sinister wit that was pulled from Ozzy’s extensive song list, and my good and music-and-fun-loving and intellectual, although he would disagree with that characterization, friend Henry said just a couple of days after the death, this was the fave of his for the night.

Years earlier, Black gave the eulogy for Dio, and it went on 2.5 HOURS, not minutes. An omen? I have to put the question to my relatives, even when my brother gave a ten-minute memory of our late father last October, how many people know another person so well that they can talk about their attributes only — not deficits — for more than two hours? Deafening silence. And I met a women, and hung out for a bit the other year, and she said her brother scored an invite to Dio’s funeral, certainly a hot and difficult ticket to partake in.

A friend of mine said about a friend of hers, that he managed to “pass there” the security crews of valets and such, and not only met Ozzy but hugged him. She hadn’t broken the news to him yet, and was afraid that he would take that phone call very hard.

Another interesting thing was that was at least in the early music press reports, Tobias Forge, the lead singer of Ghost, a diverse band that has themselves avowed their Satanism beliefs — unlike Ozzy and Dio too who deny it — was told there was a cover song he would not be allowed to perform. The mind boggles at what that could even be, maybe the controversial Suicide Solution, the Ozzy hymn that warns against the dangers of alcohol misuse as the unintended “solution” mentioned, and is by no means an embrace of suicide. SS was, in the long run, in the top five of the set list on that July evening. And no, contrary to rumors that I must say they helped fuel, there was no suicide pact between Ozzy and Sharon.

As far as the tributes that came pouring in when the news fell like a metal hammer, they even reached to the movie and comedy arena, and included Flavor Fave, the early rapper, one of the first to respond. Hours later, the list included all ends of the entertainment industry and beyond, and virtually every music genre. Even PETA chimed in, and said Ozzy was an ardent supporter, if not completely consistent, of animal rights. Again, complexity and nuance.

And back to Henry, what did he describe as the most entertaining show he has seen?? Tenacious D, fellow singer Black’s project that owes to Dio, recently disbanded amid a controversy of their own, about a rant the guitarist said while on stage about Trump and George Clooney, interrelated.

All the metal originators and some who rode on their coattails, while piecing together musical garments of their own fit for a king or queen, performed at the 11-hour farewell. A few of the titans were not there, citing scheduling conflicts. It was a high-profile event that was hard to get a ticket to. Did that bro mentioned earlier go? Did the Kardashians make the cut?

The now partially disabled Ozzy sang from a throne, interesting because of the similarity to Dio. Ozzy once had a video aimed at his critics, where the joke was when they finally make it to a dubious heaven, it is an avenging Ozzy himself sitting on the throne as God, whom he had referenced so many times in song lyrics, sometimes as an avenging angel. But not him being the Prince of Darkness. Upon his death the often also falsely accused Dio, as the joke was floated online, was sitting on the right hand of Satan. The punch line is that he would boot Satan off his throne and take over.

Despite such things, and obvious differences in instrumental, there are lyrical relationships aplenty between both singer’s versions of Black Sabbath, and both men’s side projects. Social and from-the-divine justice and spirituality, in all sorts of ways and visions, was a common component, and both men have said on rare occasion, or you could say admitted, that they are Christians, though self-styled. 

Since is where it gets thorny for many metal musicians. Most choose not to disclose their religious beliefs, because they are complex and nuanced and evolving and they don’t want to be pigeonholed in the press as this or that, or have someone try to boil it down to a sound byte.

That said, Ozzy’s theology could be boiled down to this, if I can take a shot in the dark at it: Heaven is reserved for the select righteous few who are strong enough to obey God’s laws.

Ozzy has said he does not think he is going to heaven. Despite the fact that he he has done so much good, and says so many times in his concerts, we love you all, or God bless you, or some combination of those. He has undoubtably aided so many, in particular, of all ages, disaffected youth by letting them know, and even slamming them over the head with it, that they are loved. This may be the most frequent time that they hear they are universally loved.

Dio has written on his tombstone, I am the man on the silver mountain, a song he wrote that seems to reference Christ’s transfiguration, and the enraptured disciples who wanted to stay. Similar themes abound in the lyrics sung by both men. A commentator praised, “there is something of great musical, political and spiritual consequence happening here.” There is a reason that, again, both he and guitarist and friend Tony Iommi wore great big crosses on their chest at the show that served as a final countdown to Ozzy’s death.

A comparison of the messages in the two singer’s songs could run on at length, so I’ll leave that for another time. But you can expect, soon I promise, a thesis from me on how Ozzy could be seen as the Second Coming of the Apostle Peter! You’ll want to read this.

Praise in print?

It is interesting how the mainstream press has dealt with these deaths, especially since online versions are constantly spouting out updates to breaking stories, and the total volume produced is high. For instance with Dio, arguably more talented and one of the best singers ever, only merited about eight column inches tucked well inside the metro daily that informed me of the passing.

Compare that with Ozzy departing this year, and a paper of similar magnitude had a half-page on page five with photo. Also on the page, by way of comparison, was a story about legislator Tom Tiffany mulling a run for governor.

Maybe Ozzy, more precisely one of his still living bandmates, should pen a song about that! Will Ozzy be like his comical Bark At The Moon character (yes Ozzy can act) and rise from the dead? Don’t know, it’s not been three days yet.

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