Christmas Eve is coming … No wait, its here! So the following are a few of the Xmas related things seen while Heading Home For The Holidays like greyhound.
A last gasp sign on billboard made out a mandate of sorts — Your holiday tradition starts at Menards. So if you still need that “special” gift for dad or granddad — you know, the proverbial hammer — there still may be time. Maybe even take the last-minute super discount and upgrade to one with multiple heads, for even less, smart shopper, but only one claw. And the deals continue, day by day into early January, although they might see-saw by the exact date applicable, so hold out hope for another round of 11 percent off (via rebate so great, you may have to wait) what you can put into your Menards bag. But with the way these holidays fall, there is little chance of another Black Friday. And these corporate signs are all around you, to meet your procrastination needs, like plastic holiday and lighted snow creatures. Heard there’s been a run on them at Home Depot, which in Hudson is only a block away! Or not? Grinch?
The ultimate gingerbread house before mom’s house, is actually the treat from the folks at Hersheys in Pennsylvania, a tree, you know the one, with a full four inches of foiled chocolate, and even a stand beneath. And even a smiley face fit in, mid-evergreen. That’s like an even bigger such mug from a cousin when signing her California Christmas card — and just how she did that by thrusting the first letter of her name into a loopy circle, the top part of the letter K — special K in her case — has got to be a Christmas gift. All the trees are brown, like the Charlie Brown variety, “no matter how far away you roam,” if to California then up and down hundreds of miles of coast. There’s that one in a nearby yard that’s all that, but the other half of it is full greenery, so that would be the dairy drink found all over these parts, half and half — great for baking! Or eggnog. Oh, yeah, I spoke of being loopy a bit earlier. And here is the ultimate (maybe) Christmas and otherwise figurine, although maybe not so appropriate for the holiday, depending on the end you take it from. While scrounging through the depths of our storage room, we found an old two-inch high, plastic Santa as such. Reminded me for some reason of something Ozzy said about his favorite collectibles, two different kinds that would seem to be at odds — crucifixes and get this, devil figurines. And Ozzy also has quip, as always, although mumbled, as an explanation: It creates a balance, between good and evil? Between Heaven and Hell, that old Black Sabbath song? Is this the ultimate? I know someone who certainly would say so, Michael Ault and his Aultimate Ozzy tribute show of days gone by at the old Dibbo’s. But what is the capper to this caper, and I reference that loopy letter K from above? There is a smiley face, sometimes winking, in a hole in the Santa’s chest. While only sometimes? Invoke The Exorcist, as if you hit the green button the head(s) spin Round and Round to show themselves!
Lastly, as my bus is now pulling into the station, is this greeting I saw on lights during the trip, also at several different places along Interstate 94: Serenity now, air grievances later. Go Tell It On The Mountain, so indeed tell this to all around you, and it doesn’t just have to be the cute blonde sitting next to you, or the mega-size traveler on Megabus: Have the happiest of happy holidays.