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St. Paddie’s Day marches on, through open front doors while wearing little green hats, roaming north and south across this region, and involving people with six-letter names that go way beyond Murphy and Murray, although there’s them too. Do they utter a four-letter word come the post-holiday Wednesday?

At the open front door at Hudson Tap, Irish through and through on this holiday, there were two men with little green hats and/or signs on their shirts and their verbiage just screamed the futbol hooligan heritage. One of them was heard to say, “What would you do if somebody told you …” Meanwhile, both workers and patrons gathered on the other side of the bar to get their green on and jiggle their bling to see who could jig the best.

Behind the bar, the tender was trying on a little green hat herself … or wait, but hey, it all comes out in the wash in the long haul, the (hair)piece was actually the dishwasher plastic silverware holder, shaped in a rectangle and positioned on her head sideways, like a true patriot of instead America.

— As I awoke from my slumber about meatballs or something, and how 21-year-olds like a blonde secretary could “replace” my mother or my middle-aged self, or vice versa, I chose to type this about The Donald and The B Word.

My mother and I talked about those many words that could make simple budget legislation into the Big Bountiful (Bulgarian?) Bodacious Behemoth Budget Bounty of a Bill into just that. Can you have too many B’s and make this into pure Bull Shit …?

With that said, consider this … the bountiful provision of Subsection H, paragraph 2, line 6, addendum Q, that reads that there shall be and I quote, and here’s the part that brings us home as to the front, carried across 13 million light years of space, $13 million allotted to supply Martians with bright green Gatorade! Save the water. Or Powerade. —

Near the back wall, there were two women dressed up in artificial Irish gear actually French kissing, and (their hands) were going north not south of the French state line, longer than that in Ireland. One of the other tenders was busy working the crowd by draping a set of green beads with clover around her neck.  

Also downtown, four different bobbies, er actually regular Hudson cops, went to tend to the needs of a man, they coming from south and north, who had passed out in an entryway, and first now sitting up. Kittycorner from their, Dick’s Bar seemed as rowdy as all get-out, with s women with almost shaved head exiting while shouting.

A man with heritage of the surname Murphy, listened as two other men talked in terms of Murray down the bar. What are this gentleman’s family names and their matching ethnicities? Half and half or more. Wait a minute …

My green friend, and not a little green man, has a heritage rate that over the years has been jockeyed around between 33 percent and 67 percent Irish, depending on the proximity to St. Patrick’s Day. Her hallway, described in a post below, had Irish attended doors and also a pot of gold at its end.

River Falls and New Richmond lay claim to the biggest festivals and parades in the region for this holiday, and at a berg between, Boardman, at Meister’s, part of the two-headed bar that makes up most of the town, St. Patrick’s Day and corned beef and cabbage was quiet early in the afternoon, (wings too as they wing it, but there is regular music slated), as patrons seemed to divert north and south.

Also at The Tap, there was a three-tiered food and drink combo advertised as a March Madness special, for the sweet, elite and quarterfinal rates of $16, $8 and $4. They plan to open two hours in advance for the Badger tourney game. (Vike vibes, historically? And there is an NFL game again set for Mexico, as we cross the border. Do they tit for tat, come here for a soccer match in Texas?) And the buckets of beer specials at The Smilin’ Moose are available for ALL March Madness games, regardless of who’s in the race. But …

In other international news, Venezuela beat the United States — and isn’t that ironic — to win the World Baseball Classic. It was on TV at the sports bar on St. Patrick’s Day. The coverage got blander than stale corned beef, however, during the closing ceremonies when officials simply draped ribbons over the necks of the players from the two teams. One of the coaches, an older guy, also ironically had the name Young plastered on his back. The winning team’s jerseys had emblazoned on the front chest World’s Best Baseball. What are they psychic too?

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