Stuck not in traffic, but in my apartment, as I come from the land of ice and snow and wind and its cancellations, so I go out beyond the arenas and make it a Merry metal Christmas manifested multiple times. Check out your Bible and its Gospels. As I did through churches. A trio of them, like the Trinity. And also three events to hit on a New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, (see the Picks of the Week department).

And I’m the one who finds sermons difficult to sit through. Prefer heavy metal versions. But I knew I’d find the inevitable similarities.
And very recently, it wasn’t at a stadium, but under a steeple.
I couldn’t get a seat on any bus, plane, train or automobile, as the weather was the dominant and of course forced all kinds of cancellations.
So now I had a Christmas at my home, both days, by myself completely — and I don’t drive. But no worries. So I thought I’d do something new; brave the cold and go to not one church service but as many multiples as I could find the time, walking to all within a little more than a square mile — I checked with google before going — to feel the most full Christmas experience possible. Got up to three. Two others were along the periphery, of my square, and the snow drove back my foot that was slow.
The streets and wind above them were at turns very cold and slippery. I knew I should have brought or bought a face-mask, but I’m sure stores such as WalMart were closed for the holiday.
First off was a Methodist … no wait a Catholic church.
As I approached, I noticed a truck that had a license plate with a wicked cut on Winters — how dare he throw snowballs at me and my Fathers and even my Father’s Fathers. More lineage progression to be noted further down. Another such vehicle prompted a quick pack and then a snowball toss from one side to another.
The first church’s belltower indeed towered over me when I snapped a selfie, and the camera froze up like my mustache (kidding).
Inside Immaculate Conception, I was greeted by a very dark-haired woman kicking it with what was an (almost) little black dress. Shortly after, I was directed to be cautious, (with my wording) since as a sign said a few feet into the main worship area, Slippery careful when wet. Later, at the Lutheran church, A tall blonde sported a skirt with fabric much like small chain-links and boots, both befitting what she’d wear to a rock concert.
One man said he chose to linger in the gathering area since he had a cold and did want to be in close quarters with others in a pew. A friend greeted him, and noteworthy was the number of visitors who had gathered at their house already in the evening. “We had 26 people,” she said, a counterpoint to the man’s self-quarantine at the 5 p.m. service.
In two churches, including Immaculate Conception, people asked when specific service times were, as there were two options, or if arriving early, whether they were even being held at all, due to weather. So there were a pair of different Mass Intentions offered at IC. When the pastor asked to share a sign of peace greeting, even if using a fist pump, and it got loud — OK maybe not concert volume — for the length of a long held note. The first two hymns were very into the longtime traditional, and one first verse was sung in the native Latin. Cool.
The Gospel reading, leading off the first chapter of Matthew, gave a long listing of the lineage of Christ, something I’ve always thought to be very impressive in its exactness, such as a genealogy.
The Gospel was said to portray the extended family, of sorts, of Christ, and there were 14 generations followed by 14 more. Seven and seven, twice, and if you know your Bible, you know what that demonstrations. Seven is perhaps its main symbol to represent perfection. There are many heavy metal songs that reference that theme. I immediately thought of the concept album that is the Seventh Son of a Seven Son by Iron Maiden. In folklore, such a manchild is said to possess divine powers. In the album, this child is carefully watched by the elders as he progresses in wisdom to make sure he uses them for good and not evil.
Very worthy of note, in irony: In the album, there is a child who is conceived though an immoral and even illegal act, which was necessary to continue the blood line, and later there comes this child who will save the world and bring peace, who is born via an act of violence.
Usage of threes, as in the Holy Trinity and three people who were crucified and the three who are said to have ascended, is rampant in the Bible and I saw a nod to that in the Christmas trees in the front and to the side of the altar. There were three large ones and further away, three small ones, each with one tree set apart from the other two, to show a position of prominence. This theme is represented well on the stage design seen in so many Judas Priest concerts, this time using trios of crosses.
I was curious to see if there would be mention, in the homily, of all the strife that has gone on in the world since the last Christmas — come to save the world — and the one before that and before that. How to stick in coping with extraordinary circumstances.
Hey, the blessed child came to the world in an extraordinary way during his heyday, the scripture reading said.
But some of the people in the lineage of Christ were far from that high bar, the homilist noted. You can’t read the Bible too long before you note that the Israelites screwed up early and often, bringing God’s wrath, than saving power, then wrath again …
There’s more …
Next up was St. Luke’s, very Lutheran, even the omnipresent bossy usher, telling those naughty and nice children to keep the door closed. A woman walked past him carrying a fiddle, to go up next to the next church level and its clanging bells and organ. On the door was what looked to be a Sacred Heart, just a different version than that championed by the Catholics, and one of its children then metalhead Ronnie James Dio, and Dream Theater and …
Then the lighted candles along the pews lengths, four times four, so 16 candles, like the movie … OK on second look a total of 18, as two had been added on each end.
And lastly the Methodists, who had a main church sporting more stained glass windows than I could remember, and several times more than that, smaller candles for everyone to grab, all set out on a table far enough away for a woman to ask about, before taking one.
“Come back any time,” the head usher said. So I did the next day, dropping off some canned goods at their free Christmas Day dinner. The greeter, again, said with a smile, back so soon? I don’t think it was the person from the night before, but hey I could be wrong, as I’m not always one of the Three Wise Men.
As I approached the side door, a women had just pulled up in an SUV, entered briefly and then walked back. She asked if I could take the box she’d dropped off the rest of the way, to the lower level. “I’m sorry for being a bit lazy,” she said, but I was back at ya with her, as hey it is a holiday, so take a load off. And Merry Christmas was mentioned by both of us. I told her I was happy to have more of a donation to I’d grant her request.
I thought the box was full of food donations, but it turned out to be empty! Mrs. Grinch?
But the people below graciously accepted what I had brought, so the road back met my feet sore well. Some cool ornaments, such as they were, became part of my Christmas story. One stuck in a snowbank appeared to be a furry red decoration, but as I walked closer shown itself to be a badly placed window scraper, with the brush end up. The other looked quite like a Santa, but although it rose from a snowbank showed its true colors. It was red — OK actually pink — but was really turned out to be a happily grinning sharklike Bobblehead.
So a happy Hallmark holiday ending to this story.