The Olympics is a well-oiled machine, or so it was before Covid, but nothing could set you up for what it can do for a bare-chested athlete. That was the most dwelt upon part of the TV coverage of the opening march at The Games.
And get your mind out of the gutter, as we are talking about men, not topless competitors that are of the opposite sex. And some of them have trained so well, and reduced their body fat to near zero all over their flesh, that there’s not much difference in the cup size between them and a beer guzzler watching the Bucks (see below). In fact, the guys at the neighborhood pub likely have a lot more up there. And indeed, from The Cities, a close friend of mine is — let’s get this straight right off the bat for all concerned including the above mentioned — good looking enough to have stellar model credentials, but as well was an Olympic caliber sprinter around that same time. Having her type of slim frame is simply what’s necessary to carve a second or two off your time, because there is no drag from extra pounds. And in that case, so be it. Especially when you consider that most swimmers trim off all their body hair to more quickly glide through the water, and that includes a shaven head – and that can go for both sexes.
But the men that were on parade were different, bulking up not down, and showing it off. Thus they were not like the Olympic gymnasts who went to wearing less revealing fashions as a protest against sexism. They should likely take the same tack in their programs in our high schools.
To wit, these guys looked like they were right out of a live Danzig sweaty video. There was one and then seconds later from a different country, there was a second such guy. The first one had also done this in the games four years ago, so maybe the media was primed. Whatever the case, the cameras were on him – along with commentary — much longer than any of the other athletes from any country, including the U.S. Which brings this to mind: Why aren’t we showing some of the other, more buttoned up, competitors and at least giving them close to the same air time, in real time? Even if they are just the ping pong players. (My mom says that’s not a real sport, but recalling our youth, my brother begs to differ and put a different “spin” on the topic).
–News break: It’s all the slight of silly hand numbers that may mean something about the local sports scene, or nothing at all! Make up your mind for yourself by checking out Notes From The Beat –
Some of that, however, is kind of refreshing, since the uniforms of choice at the Opening Ceremonies were drab and uninspired. Isn’t such a media event and photo opp the hallmark of what top designers are after? Doesn’t look like it was that way, just regular pants that might as well be Dockers and button-down shirt without tie. At least some of the colors were flashy, from the top end vs. the bottom end, but they were single colors and not any kind of pattern. So the choices sometimes clashed.
And which was perhaps the worst culprit? Of all places Denmark, and it was made worse by the blah boots. Isn’t that where we would expect flash and flare along the lines of a Jenna Jameson? (At least through the opening credits, if they have those, before it all gets taken off)
There was one saying grace to all this, and it showed up again and again. Countries with a strongly indigenous people. The smaller the population of these countries the better, as they showed with designer savvy and splashes of color that were perfect to compliment shades of brown and green gleaned from local flora, the garb that goes back to native roots, lavish layer upon layer, headgear included. But even when it was something of a less obvious gender choice like wearing a dress, the men were (uniformly) attired more flamboyantly then the women, and the styles sported by each varied tremendously.
And now that we are the point of sports comparisons, let it be known that down in Milwaukee the blockbuster twin-release of Parise and Suter by The Wild merited all of two graphs on sports page two, as the last item in a column of briefs. What was the treatment back in the Twin Cities when the Bucks won their title? Probably more like whole graphs as images depicting scoring patterns. And the Pioneer Press vs. the Strib probably played it differently, for reasons of those few extra miles past the point of geographical things Wisconsin. And stories about how Hudson got behind the title run, just as they’d at times shifted over to Twins playoff hopes if the Brewers tanked.
And psst, hey buddy, did you know that the late JP Parise, father of Zach, played hockey for the Islanders for several years. We first were reminded, in the media, of this now. Like father like son?