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The oddity of Aussies and loons …
— When a bachelorette party was rolling through Dick’s during the hunting season before last, for brides and bridesmaids, they decided to have their picture taken right next to a pinball machine, with being given a half-Nelson part of the fun. They were a bit rowdy and hyperactive, and the machine got bumped, rocking it a couple of inches. That was a novel way to get a “tilt” violation. And I’ll bet there was no “replay” of the photo. Focus ladies, focus.
— This sign, seen around the same time, would be just perfect for Minnesota. At the Corner Saloon in River Falls, a neon sign had the four middle letters obscured so it read “Corn Loon.”
— Three items from parts unknown, with the common denominator being Gopher sweatshirts from a past subpar season that was toasted anyway. An Aussie wearing one of these, as well as a Croc Dundee-type-hat, was in the Village Inn and ordered a Mich Golden. Or as he termed it, simply a Golden Light. Then in a salutation you usually only hear a half-world away, he said “Thanks mate.”
Then there was a guy at Ellie’s, known for a mostly younger crowd, who was pushing 50 and hoisted a beer to toast his Gophers while saying, “Is there anybody in here who is an AARP member?”
And OK, this isn’t a Gopher sweatshirt, but one I wear that was a gift from someone who outgrew it. It was for an occasionally championship-caliber football team, that being Colorado. I can’t believe the number of people who’ve approached me to say they know someone who went there. That must be a lot of Coors sold.
— Another guy, of classic rock listening age, swore that prior to state legalization legislation — say that three times fast while you’re high — he’d smoked pot with Carrot Top in a bathroom at a Colorado concert. But the guy spoke with so much bravado, not sounding like a stoner, that I tend to doubt it.

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