It’s the time of year for jerseys, jerky and turkey, as the guys hit the woods to dress up deer, and the Deer Hunting Widows dress up in many other (and lesser) ways.
— There were almost twice as many Viking jerseys as Packer ones worn by Sunday late-night patrons downtown; maybe a party is the best way to forget a two-touchdown loss to the Pack. One of the Minnesota-friendly fans looked like a younger version of Jared Allen, although his sweatshirt and cap advertised a national forest located Out West. He and another fellow with equally long hair, like a backwoodsman, soon got up and danced much like the Viking cheerleaders. One of the bartenders wore a safe choice that was in-between loyalties — a Brett Favre jersey patterned after his Viking days. Meanwhile, late off-sale at Pudge’s was steady, presumably because Viking fans were getting ready to drown their sorrows, (we assume back home).
— The Big Game also played out big at Green Mill, where there was a good turnout and full bar for the Border Battle (Packer Backer?) buy-one-burger, get-one-free promotion held at this more-than-just-a-sports-bar, said bartender Shavon.
— There are a lot of bachlorette parties where the dressing is over the top, so why should it be any different on the week of Deer Hunter Widows? Such credence was given to a group who recently went (sarcastically?) in blaze orange, and shortly afterward were topped by a crew in metallic covered wigs.
In the past, there have been masked women, flappers from the Roaring Twenties, retro rockers from the Eighties, and everything between. Then there were the tutus, with very tiny hats for accessories, along with leopard shirts, (but dresses as you might guess on the bride and maid of honor).
And, in the spirit of the deer-shooting week-or-so, a trio had shown up at Buffalo Wild Wings in hunting fatigues, and considering that it was a rare slow night, they made up 20 percent of the patronage.
All of which leads up to a zinger. A group of one-soon-to-be-wed women made their way through the Smilin’ Moose a while back led by the obligatory huge artificial penis, and while that is not that unusual for such parties, what made it noteworthy was that coming in shortly behind them was a group of guys with an even bigger doll with a similarly proportioned artificial vagina. Both were bumping up against patrons. Maybe those two plastic units, and possibly the people carrying them, should hook up? These two pieces could get together for a piece.
— Bartender Sue at The Village Inn in North Hudson likes to talk about wildlife art, both the photos she takes of the birds and bees, etc. that abound in her back 40, as an alternative to hunting, and the ones she could take from what she sees from her perch at The Village. Although she adds there might not be enough film in the land for that. As Sue was saying this, we all watched on the big TV stupid turkey tricks, such as them messing up as they feed themselves — I guess that’s why they call them turkeys.