If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t wear it. Instead
toss it into the nearest flower pot!
On a cold night a while back, I was given the task
to park the car when going out for a show, in this
case not rock but the St. Paul Chamber Orchestra.
They even had a valet or two in top hats and tails!
Job done, I had to walk back a few blocks, and was
weaving around the crosswalks to find my way to
return to the Ordway in St. Paul.
Damned if the sole of my shoe didn’t become completely
dislodged. And I was in a hurry, running late, so
the quick pace made the shoe flop entirely. So, ala
Jimmy Buffett, in “blew out my flip flop,” I tossed
the sole into a big sidewalk flower pot the size of a
speaker. I just wondered if this upper crust crowd
would look on in distain of a man with one shoe, or
at least just a shoe-and-a-half.
We did get seated without anyone complaining about
foot odor, and the orchestra soon was performing an
instrumental selection that often spun dangerously
out of control, than finally pulled it together
again. Much like Ozzy Osbourne’s old band taking on
a guitar solo that careens wildly on Over the
Mountain. And I did notice a power chord remarkably
like that plucked by Nirvana.
And, as the show progressed it amounted to a tutorial by
the conductor, and included similarities to old TV show themes
like Perry Mason, (could Ozzy pull off those things coherently?
Maybe one more than the other).