Get your rocks off with these bands, (and no danger of coal in your stocking)

Rock out, rock steady, rock hard and with apologies to the late Dibbo’s staff and their radio commercials, be rock solid this weekend:
— The band name of these Hudsonites says it all, Rock Hard. They list their genre as Attention Deficit and their online persona has photos with David Grohl of the Foo Fighters and at least one guy in a monkey suit, so you know there will be a great time when they bring their act to the Willow River Saloon in Burkhardt on Saturday, Dec. 18. The youthful local members who on that day will be playing local are Brad Langer, Dave Kortum, Patrick Martin and Ross Goulette. (Just don’t confuse them with the Twin Cities burlesque act of the same name). In fact, the band only gets back together to play special gigs, typically about once a year around the holidays at a specific local venue, according to bartender Darren at the Village Inn in North Hudson. Last year’s holiday performance of choice was at The Village, and a packed house saw a great show, he said.
— If you need a warmup act for Rock Hard, there is more rock in store at The Willow the previous evening, on Friday, as a Twin Cities band named East River Rock accomplishes just that, trekking east of the St. Croix River to appear in Burkhardt. They have been around a lot longer, and physically appear a little more rough around the edges, but use that and the talents that go with it to bring a wide spectrum of hits from the ’70s on down.
— With the recent proliferation of ugly sweater parties, and things such as questionable pants and headgear also, (such as a Gringe-like corkscrew extending upward from one person’s pate), these non-fashion statements continue to be seen out and around the downtown long after the actual contests were held and the (non)-winners named at places like Shiners and Kozy Korner. Some of the beasties hailed from holiday staff parties at locales such as Dick’s Bar and Grill and Mike’s Em Pour E Yum, then proliferating outward. It is the season for final judgment on other things, too, such as stupid pet toys, signs point out.
As for humans, what appear most popular on flashy colored shirts are tiny insignias of things such as reindeer on sweaters, not much bigger that postage stamps. (Maybe they could be mailed to Siberia, where ANYTHING warm is appreciated). A couple of bartenders said the choices for worst outfit were so many they could not single any one item out, they all morphed into a multi-colored stew in their brains. One added their most populous such partiers came on buses from the Cities, and may have numbered as many as 20.
— Along these lines, you can really sock it to ’em at Dick’s, as with a purchase of a $5 Christmas stocking, “you can get your name in lights” and “your name here,” on the fuzzy top ring of the stocking (eh, like you’d want it there!) But it’s all in good fun, as all the proceeds go to the Hudson Food Shelf or Hudson Backpack program.
— Again along those lines, the jukebox at Smilin’ Moose had a song from Justin Timberlake and featuring Jay Z that highlighted the phrase “as long as I get my suit and tie.” A patron walked in and his buddy said, “You sings this song, you know.” Just goes to show there are still, basically, 12 days of Christmas to take in all the ugly attire at the dozen or so local watering holes.

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