Grab your blankie and bowl of popcorn, and party food, and a beer for you and your vice and set it on your TV, not polo, cabinet. The Great Debate, (or it ain’t), Second City version, between The Great White Ape and the Great Black Woman Hope is hence. After 90 minutes, will anyone be left standing? And the moderator still be moderate? (Some updates were added to this post as it played out.)

There will be many millions tuning in to watch not the Super Bowl, as this is not as superb, but it is Must See TV as The Donald — does anyone still call him that? — goes toe to toe with in some cases better style, Kamala Harris to see who runs this country and can make it great again (is that phrase a trademark?) Not that it matters, and just ask Jack White and Seven Nation Army, though there will be no one present in the audience. Unlike you getting upset and quaffing your cheap beer, the third one now, too fast at the sports bar.

So get ready to first settle in with some popcorn in front of your sofa, if it has not be repossessed, and then at some point throw it at the television screen. Bereft of the ref.

— On a lighter note. The mongo marquee at Agave Kitchen, celebrating their birthday soon and others with their accompanying jokes, via my family, may be coming, says thus: 343. Today for a few past days. 630.

Is there some major event I’m missing? 420 or such again? (Would HudsonWiNightlife do that? Or own up to it? I think I just did.) But note the first three digits sum up to a perfect 10. And the last three digits only a nine.

Also, this is the time of the season for fall fests, and leading the way only in this month are churches. To wit: a Catholic church in Stillwater is putting out the word and the plate for not one, but two fall festivals, a week or two apart. Hey, there are two such churches in the city, St. Mary’s and St. Michael’s two blocks apart near the downtown, so maybe that makes sense. Too, refer to their website(s) for more info, since right now I gotta go … —

But key points to watch, and back to the debate:

Can Trump find a way to negate the debate rules that say only the moderator can ask questions, and rant on with a bad-willed romp about Kamala’s hair? He says she needs bangs.

Can Kamala, better than Biden, counter Trump’s incessant and repeated and repeated lies? Mega, maga. And can you as a viewer sort them out from the very few bits of truth? Yes he wears a rug. Pick a Jeopardy-like topic to hone in on, such as crime, the economy, the border, but don’t prize actual facts.

Count the number of times Trump speaks in an absolute, with the only gray being hair and waffling on answers. This is the reason his rhetoric falls flat as his hair — and you can use this nugget to impress you guests — as he says everything has a fault like “the worst ever” on things like the treatment of the withdrawal of troops from Afghanistan. Top ten? Maybe. But Public Enemy No. 1? Not plausible.

Look for that occasional more-than-12-letter, not four-letter word, from Trump, other than antidisestablishmentarianism. He might pop one of his brain cells on that one, leaving him with even fewer than Biden. Both sides say they are for change, but every candidate going back to earlier than the Millennium has spouted that useless and pointless rhetoric. He is beholden.

Look up on Google the definition of delusional disorder and narcissistic disorder and see if you can diagnose either one of the candidates, (with more points given to you for one over the other.)

See if Harris can set herself apart from Biden as far as agendas on policy, since she has had only a couple of months to do so as the First Woman. That’s not much time. In our era of technology, new information comes to light constantly, so stances can change quickly, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but that needs to be articulated. So will she continue much longer to be fractious on fracking? And see if with Harris not like, say, The Supremes, her voice cracks as she describes the various points. (And certainly, some things would disappear from the plate, such as the border and its potential wall. Harris was said to have not addressed her positions on various issues, maybe true, but mainly because she was trying to be heard over Trump’s blather.)

Will Harris appeal to more sub and constituencies then her opponent, and his cast of characters consisting of cantankerous construction crews? And billionaires who want to be trillionaires? 

And those who have such a fraction as their attention spans. And the ability to stick to a point. (And allow a lack of need for constant one-minute clarifications, and the looks of cross-armed horror while correcting the misstatements, and shock during the frequent (dozens? hundreds?) of way-out-of-whack interruptions. Alleged animal butchering and eating by immigrants of our prized pets? Do such topics seem presidential? Tripling or quadrupling of gas prices here? Huh? Even locally, her alleged legal bailing out of jail of Minneapolis marching and torch-wielding thugs? Again huh, huh. And the best economy basically ever? Pluuuleeze.)

And how Harris of one singular dress sticks it to Trump with heels of five vs. three inchs. It all spikes at 8 p.m. CST.

(The following written as I watch this. Are we talking about a years-back return to the need of phones ringing for prez-government-psych doctors, and government-sponsored and door-to-door, Thorlike-warrior police for other non-white origins of immigrants as I make a pun, and opponents? Trump doesn’t deny these and so many other evils. Just bitches about them and rambles endlessly, and it’s getting worse, when Harris often sighs noticeably but doesn’t devest him. Tit for tat and she could even have been much, much harsher. She can’t shut him up, or can the moderator, and have him actually debate. Will we have to at some point physically muzzle him?)

Grade: Stick on topic and not have the volume of verbage set at a 70/30 percent ratio. Everyone sees it different ways. I see a more and more unhinged but sometimes maybe even purposeful maniac. Oddly, Trump’s ramblings did not seem to go on the attack about the economy. Key observation?

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