Hey, you want to make turducken for Easter? Hail to you and your ambition, because there are enough other dishes to make, even if they are not as time-consuming. And there are many ways to make it your very own, also, if quite creative. And sometimes with the sauce(s) that can be a DIY gem in the kitchen — and we’re not talking about new cabinets, although making them for your breezeway might be more of a breeze then taking on turducken — the thicker a consistency they have the better. Read on.
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But I have to say, can’t animals and especially poultry, get the virus also? Once, twice, three times an entree. You might get three virus situations, while stuffing and then cooking, for the price of one — a good reason to go tofu? So, you kill each of the three hens — figuratively of course — with individual sauces, such as many Asian brands that are heavy on sweet and sour, BBQ and/or honey, and even “duck” sauce, applicable reference, and you can make it on your own, even greater if you are a vegetarian, by using as a base the ol’ plum sauce and/or the fruit itself, and add if needed a bit of grape jelly and/or brown sugar and/or cinnamon. With all of these ingredients, and their amounts as dictated by personal taste and in the horseradish addition end the tolerance of the sting to the mouth, putting some sauce on the sides could be the rub — place a small side dish cup in all four corners. Too, find such a place for excess stuffing, and even top off the extra sage with a bit of hot sauce, and you have a Cajun-styled version. And for the ways you can make on your own all the above sauces, they are/were on this web page. I do indeed realize this increases prep time. And if they say 10 minutes on the label(s), question that assumption, or you might the night before cutting into your Easter vigil time..
(And to ratchet up the heat even more, the chopped horseradish that is a vegetable, not just a creamy sauce, and served as a dip for various other veggies, so you can reduce the boatload of leftovers and also can really rock your buffet, so visitors can munch while the kids look for their colored eggs and candy — more on that later).
Or bake and ladle on — in a way with the sauces and such that has more substance than the killer cocktail by that method of delivery for those having a birthday served free to the birthday lush at the Smilin’ Moose — so the edges meld or melt together, as long as the liquids are not too runny, and this is where heavy and hearty and steadfast chimes in, and far afield in similarity of taste, as what it might run into. But for a non-edges entree: I realize that all this is traditional Easter turned on its ear, like a cob of corn?
In the age-old battle, ham versus turkey, you could use a bit of that leftover sauce From Above, and mix in all kinds of veggies such as green pepper bits, chosen as it fits more kinds of meat that can even include pork. And coming down to a lesser-attended gathering, to start a respect for social distancing, as has been the case (??) with all the After Midnight hangers-on, in a backyard or back woods to be a supplement to PepperFest, you can still in many but not all stores get a tin with ham that is in foil, such as mother used and now finally has the Interent, and has posted (sorta). In this sorta way, if your gathering is small, like many these days, and you don’t need the whole huge ham hock … But back to the mothers, she boasts her recipe on not .com but .mom. And leftover from, referencing it again, the unspoken for cabbage, to those who will speak its praises about braised, if used right, the cole slaw that can be stretched from the dressing — and isn’t that all we eat if for? — to start with mayo or just plain salad dressing, and in this case the quality difference becomes scant. Mix in white sugar and perhaps a bit of vegetable oil and you have it. And the celery people have put in their plug. Sauce or substance? So, carrot slivers or half-coins, finely sliced green peppers and such-cut broccali, and there again you have a three chord wonder. Red cabbage too, but for purposes on the analogy, but basic to the title of ingredient. And it can find into play sweet onion. All flowing from the St. Patrick’s Day veggies you thought you might not have any use for. And? Sweet and sour sauce. A very little bit.
But give ham some love too, if sprinkled into the mix in very small ways. Ham is feeling left-out from the mix of the poultry. Like a hog in a dairy farm here in Wisconsin. Sprinkle cheese on, or maybe just sauce on the side with a few dabs of mustard — virtually any kind will do.
Though Christians have their Holy Week, for Jewish people it is a roughly two week party, if that is what you call it among the Orthodox. Their theology is very expansive and specific, but hey, these days it’s kinda fashionable to embrace it. So if you have any kind of that school of thought, here’s what you can cook to be at least partially inclusive involving the Seder, and most people these days know just a bit about the Jewish rite. Melba toast or other thickened cracker, lamb that adds mint (a goodly percentage of the central Wisconsin leadout) and coconut slices (lesser still in my non-southern state), radish beyond horseradish for bitters, chopped apple and nut and carmel mix cooked together while in thirds of each … you get the picture. To be truly kosher, obain a book that walks and prays you through the Seder, and most can be found at your local church and could be borrowed if they are not participating in it themselves with a special dinner, that could be cut short and virtual, although still spiritual, because of social distancing. The full Seder runs about as long as the holiday-ish movies like danes With Wolves and Ghandi, so you can abbreviate it if the kids can’t wait for the accompanying egg search at the end of the Seder and still observe it. This can be a dance (of joy) as is known by my friend Kevin who is a retired pastor, and has a wonderful wife who is full-on kosher Jewish. Over many years of marriage, Kevin has concluded how to look for such tiny designations, there are more than one on an applicable box, and see if it like some mustards cut muster. These are available at most stores and even WalMart, but you have to know what those tiny icons mean.
And lastly for those eggs for the hunt — and although this being Wisconsin, we are not talking about Bambi — consider those made in the special Ukranian style as a centuries-old tradition that is now carried forward in churches in Hudson and Stillwater. They are totally decked out in what has an art-base that resembles strongly what you see in the Vatican, but fragile enough so that it may be better for the adults, or at least those who are older chiming in so they are not dropped and broken. But this is a holiday of hope and forgiveness (read elsewhere on these pages closer to Easter), so don’t walk on eggs shells over it, or fret if they break and you step or trod on them. You will not be Buried in a Nameless Grave.
With that reference to an Ozzy song, with more lyrics that involve the religious observations to follow soon on these pages, we must now jump briefly to March Madness, since its now the start of April, but the games go on. First noticed this taking over people’s behavior in mid-March, when a man walked up to the counter at Buffalo Wild Wings and asked if the Florida game could be turned on the above screen. Certainly, the server said, and you can lay claim to some of the other TVs also. But maybe this enthusiasm was a curse, as his team was upset by a squad that was barely ranked.
And there were other upsets too, or once that blew out in the final minute of the game. Ask my friend Mike, who is like a walking encyclopedia on these things and being Old School just needs his TV time for them, and couldn’t wait for the Final Four to play out, so he could regele other new fans with new thoughts about the whole deal. He doesn’t hit the video poker machines though, so getting game on is his New Deal. Which can be problematic, because he is a stickler about avoiding situations that could be virus-laden. But this is not his first rodeo with the NCAA tournament, although it should be noted that it was that bronco-busting sport, and maybe NASCAR, that were the last ones to linger with decisions about attendance shutdowns at their contests. A common thread could be seen in the gusto of their fan base. Do we see a theme here?
But then there are those Vikings, and this coming year will be different then all the rest, maybe, with the just-announced, expanded regular season that is the antithesis of the usual scaling back we’ve encountered. More opps to show your chops. To that end, on a walk to the local sports bar, what was the first set of flowers I saw to blossom in the median? Big with lots of purple pedals.And then there are those Gophers. A main man in their basketball lineup goes by the name Kalscheur, which is not a common one, but is shared by an older women from across the river in Hudson. Could she be his mom? Very unlikely when it concerns Sr. Bernadette. Yes as in sister. As in nun. But sadly she has passed on. At this time of year, we remember all your pastoral contributions, Sr. Bernadette, to people from all walks of life.