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Returning those small Xmas gifts in a small way, as its small potatoes (with one or two exceptions if you’re older)

It is time for not only new years resolutions but also regifting in a way that you are showing your age, and they might be one and the same:
— Have you vowed to take in less concerts in the new year, and resell those tickets and grab the cash, but then some old war horses (is that good or bad?) called it their farewell tour, so you have to make a choice? There is Lynyrd Skynyd, Elton John, Bob Segar and of course KISS, and there are local connections to the first two, and in both cases, the musicians are showing their age. A local roadie for Skynyrd met up with me way back when Pier 500 was then Sunset’s, and even that far back in the day, so you have to wonder how much worse it could get in the here and now, the roadie said their livers were failing. All the more reason to stopping touring and the excess that goes with it. And as far as Elton John, a local bar manager said that when he was working a similar gig at The X, he was cautioned by staffers not to disturb Elton from his nap being taken in the next room over, even though there were questions to be answered. Again. we’re not young punks anymore, who can just go on Adrenalin, or God knows what else, as we are all showing our age …
— The joke was running around at a local pharmacy, and we must note profusely that we are just kidding, that their products are never the ones to be regifted. (This could be not only the potent stuff, but weight loss too, as you might guess). Also, there is a sign that says — and it could have been better worded — that they are a center for packets to drop off old medications, then adding “please take all that you need and give them to others you know.” That joke went further that if you indulge too much, they can reverse that trend through prescriptions and put you back in balance … for most kinds of hangovers. Again, don’t take us too seriously.
— A guy I know found that his gifted new pants were not anywhere close to closing with the zipper in the front, and we agreed that because of what that might be indicating, there could be a UP side to that situation. As it was, the two-part unclosed zipper helped form basically a V. The size of his manhood must have meant victory!
— This one is unlikely to be regifted. A cute young friend of mine received a brand new car as a present, but she noted at length that what really meant so much to her were the cards with a handwitten sentiment.
— They had the meats to help ring in 2019, but again today, when on your new years diet, you might be happy that you didn’t find out sooner. A local nightspot was offering for dinner turkeys at 20 pounds and hams at 17 pounds.
— A couple we know put out word on Facebook that they were throwing a new years party at their place, and said it was come one, come all, even if they do not know you. They said all are welcome at their house, no matter who they are, to just hang out, sample some munchies, listen to music or watch it on TV, whatever. On this eve it backfired, however — which will make them try again with the next prominent holiday — as the weather was bad and it was out in the country and only a couple of couples showed. The sponsoring couple added that they’ve always had a good turnout with this procedure in the past — and that each time there was someone who came who nobody knew from Adam.
— An online offer from my late-night social media said this on New Year’s Eve: “The countdown begins … Save 77 percent until midnight.” Got it. Just won’t respond, at least until after the new year hits, (like maybe now, because if you believe the ongoing … and ongoing … and ongoing hype, the offer will continue forward and not yet be expired). Have been too busy to reply to the offer, as in this new year, per resolution, too many things to do, people to see …
— And the shout-out has been given involving the One Block Fun Run, and it comes from the llama, described in the flyers as being the only one of those mascots to attend the event, which is unusual. There usually are two or more. So that llama has put out the all-call to redo the run — which actually took place last Saturday, Jan. 12 — a week after the fact with more animals showing (OK we’re just kidding about that updating of the event). Adding to the update is that the flyers that advertised the “run” said this would be an “energetic” feat of athleticism. After a full morning of sucking discounted Bloody Mary’s, again, we doubt it.

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